Annual Terrorism Report Shows 29% Increase

In 2004, the State Department was forced to correct a first version of the ATR that BushCo had used to tout progress in it’s war on terror. The original had purposely undercounted the number of people killed in terrorist attacks in 2003, putting it at less than half of the actual number.

In 2005, the department was again accused of playing politics with the report when it decided to not even publish it after officials concluded that there were more terrorist attacks in 2004 than in any year since 1985.

Condoleezza Rice had actually considered postponing or downplaying the release of this year’s report once again, but decided to issue it by the congressionally mandated deadline of next Monday. No surprise that they wish to once again bury the facts that the 2006 ATR presents to the congress and the American people:

The report will show a nearly 30% increase over the 2005 numbers, from 11,111 in that year to 14,338 for 2006, with almost all of the boost due to growing violence in Iraq and Afghanistan. Not quite the "winning the war against terror" picture that they like to tout pretty much whenever their mouthes open. . .

In fact, after this year’s report was already largely completed and approved, Rice and her aides called for further reviews, in an attempt to avoid repeating embarrassing missteps of recent years in the report’s release. The review process is being led by Deputy Secretary of State John "Death Squad" Negroponte, coming soon to a killing field near you. I'm curious as to why these neo-cons from the 70's and 80's keep turning up like bad pennies. . .are there so few of them that they are forced to recycle themselves? Alas, that is another post for another day, but I AM most curious!

Da Shrub and his posse routinely call Iraq the “central front” in "the war on terrorism" and will, of course, claim that the preponderance of attacks there and in Afghanistan prove their point. The only problem with their claim is the fact that Iraq was a sponsor of no terror other than that directed internally by Saddam Hussein. The latest data shows that Iraq 's share of the WORLD numbers above equate to roughly 45% on the ENTIRE terrorist attacks IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! I never thought I'd ever miss W's daddy. . .other than a couple of unfortunate slip-ups, he always knew when to pull out. . .

Shrub and Shooter's claims that al-Qaida terrorists were in Iraq and allied with Saddam Hussein before the invasion has been disproved time and time again. As recently as last
September, the Senate Intelligence Committee reported their findings that Saddam rejected pleas for assistance from al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden and had even tried to capture Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, whose presence in Iraq was often used by Shooter as proof of ties between the two.

“Postwar findings indicate that Saddam Hussein was distrustful of al-Qaida and viewed Islamic extremists as a threat to his regime, refusing all requests from al-Qaida to provide material or operational support,” the Senate report said. Whaddaya know. . .we had a common enemy, we killed Saddam, now al-Quaida IS in Iraq and running rampant against our soldiers. We took a country that was unfriendly to terrorists, killed it's tyrant leader who opposed said terrorists, and sent thousands of our soldiers into the region to fight with friends (Shia or Sunni?) who look exactly like the foes (to our western eyes anyway), against "insurgents" who are basically patriots fighting a foreign occupation of their sovereign lands. It's like throwing out a god-damned buffet for the terrorists!

When I think of all the wasted money, the wasted lives of both American soldiers and Iraqis, the hatred that these neo-fascist bastards have caused to be directed towards America (and rightly so), I am ashamed. I hope that the will and spirit of the great experiment that we call America will prevail as it did last November, and restore us to at least a trustworthy ally if not the shining beacon of hope that we were before this buffoon and his cadre embarked upon their own personal mission of capitalism gone horribly awry. That is what I hope to dream about tonight. . .Good night and sweet dreams for all Americans, and those want to be, once more, a part of our circle of friends.

You tell me

It's Monday morning, and time to get back to work ya bastids! Ease your way into your day by posting your funniest caption for this photo:

Outrageous commercials!

Rotten Rudy flips on civil union stance

The femme fatal in this picture is none other than Rudy Giuliani. Many of you are aware of his longtime stance in support of civil unions. If you aren't, click HERE for the December 2003 audio from the gay satellite channel SiriusOutQ. In 2004, in an appearance on The O'Reilly Factor, he stated "I'm in favor of … civil unions" and went on to explain why: "Marriage should be reserved for a man and a woman. That's why you have civil partnerships. So now you have a civil partnership, domestic partnership, civil union, whatever you want to call it, and that takes care of the imbalance, the discrimination, which we shouldn't have."

Many people on both sides of the aisle surmised that his stance on this issue would "not play well in Peoria" and would eliminate any chance he had at the GOP nomination for president. True conservatives certainly wouldn't support a candidate who has been so vocal regarding GLBT American's rights. Apparently, Rotten Rudy agrees and has now come out against civil unions. Reacting to the New Hampshire legislature's passage of a bill that would legalize same-sex unions in the state, Giuliani stated that the bill went too far and that he could not support it.

A spokesperson said "Mayor Giuliani believes marriage is between one man and one woman. Domestic partnerships are the appropriate way to ensure that people are treated fairly. In this specific case the law states same sex civil unions are the equivalent of marriage and recognizes same sex unions from outside states. This goes too far and Mayor Giuliani does not support it."

First of all, stop calling him "Mayor Giuliani", he's not a mayor and he was a horrible one when he was in that position. . .just ask a New Yorker. But that's another tale entirely. Rotten Rudy, you can't support the rights of GLBT citizens throughout your entire political career and then drop that support at the eleventh hour in an attempt to gain favor with the conservative base! While I realize their gullibility after enduring their actions during the last two presidential elections, I simply cannot believe that even this self-centered flock of sheep can look you in the eye as you disavow your lifelong position on this issue in a feeble attempt to win their support.

Even Republican pollsters are dumbfounded by this flip. You see, after enduring 6+ years of "W', even their bullshit detectors are going off! Let's see here. . .often showed up at public events in drag while mayor of NYC, lived with an openly gay couple after announcing his divorce plans to his wife via a press conference, and now claims he can't support civil unions. BULLSHIT!

Not only have you alienated the members of the GLBT community who might possibly have supported you, but you're displaying that old "finger in the wind" mentality that conservatives always seem to spend so much time ranting against. Way to screw it up two ways at the same time! Up until now your biggest worry had to be that the false "America's Mayor" image would be destroyed by the real details of your actions during that horrible event. Silly little things really. . .placing your emergency command center in the basement of a building that had already been a target in 1993. . .storing huge tanks of diesel fuel under that same building for emergency power. . .allowing emergency communications control to be placed in that same site. . .in case any of you reading this are among the slow crowd, we're talking about the World Trade Center here!

Rotten Rudy thrives on the images of himself roaming Manhattan that terrible September morn, looking all heroic and engaged. Truth of the matter is that he was roaming the streets because he had nowhere to go due to his absolutely horrid management skills and poor decisions! His "emergency command center" was the target and he had nowhere to go - all emergency communications were routed through that same center, and were down. As a result, emergency responders were unable to communicate with each other or the outside world. Information that would definitely have saved the lives of these brave men and women couldn't reach them!

Rotten Rudy had a lousy approval rating in NYC and was to be voted out of office in a special election that was to have been held during the attack that day. That election was canceled, and he rode the wave on the backs of our dead. Let's make sure that doesn't happen again. . .

WOW

Robert Greenwald strikes again.

What liberals really stand for

SHE supports our troops!

Bring 'em home for HER:

FNR Part Deux - Looking Over My Shoulder

Dennis DeYoung's solo venture after the breakup of Styx produced this great tribute to lost youth and trying to travel back in time:

Dennis DeYoung - Desert Moon


And another perspective on that, from Mr.Joel this time:

Billy Joel - Keeping the Faith

Former NYPD officer Eddie Money weighs in:

Eddie Money - I Wanna Go Back


And, finally, The Boss:

Bruce Springsteen - Glory Days

Friday Nite Retro

Welcome once again to Friday Nite Retro here at Left in Aboite, the weekly feature where I highlight the music and story of some of my favorite bands. Tonight we're looking at one of the first "supergroups", which are groups comprised of members of other successful groups who have banded together for a new joint effort. The players this evening are:

- Geoff Downes - keyboards & bg vocals (Of Yes and The Buggles)


- John Wetton - bass & lead vocals (Of King Crimson, UK, Uriah Heep and Family)


- Steve Howe - guitar and background vocals (Also of Yes)


- Carl Palmer - drums (Of Emerson, Lake and Palmer)

These four artists were the original founding members of Asia, and it is their short initial success that I'm covering tonight.

Asia's debut album enjoyed considerable commercial success, spending nine weeks at number one in the U.S. album chart. The singles "Only Time Will Tell" and "Heat of the Moment" became huge Top 40 hits, with the latter cracking the Top Five, and remaining a stadium favourite at U.S. sporting events.

Heat of the Moment


Only Time Will Tell


The tracks from the Asia debut have stood the test of time and are played on classic rock stations throughout the world today. The Asia debut has become legendary in the genre of classic rock. The US tour also did extremely well, selling out every date on the '82 and '83 tours, while the MTV channel played their videos on heavy rotation. Billboard named the Asia debut as album of the year.

Asia became known as pioneers of phase two of the progressive rock era by avoiding long winded forays that included, to at least a greater extent than phase-one, enough commercial polish to attract radio airplay outside of album-rock circles. Yes' 90125 and Big Generator, ELPowell's Emerson, Lake & Powell in 1986, and the GTR album would all follow in the Asia debut album's footsteps.

However,neither their second effort, Alpha, or any following Asia album was able to replicate the chart success of the first. The power ballad "Don't Cry" entered the Top Ten in 1983, while "The Smile Has Left Your Eyes," a fan favorite for John Wetton's vocal performance, charted inside of Billboard's top 40. But Rolling Stone panned Alpha as an over-produced commercial album while others lamented that Howe and Palmer were effectively reduced to session musicians. However, many Asia fans favor Alpha over the debut.

Don't Cry



The Smile Has Left Your Eyes


Wetton temporarily left, but rejoined the group in 1985 for their third album, Astra. Steve Howe also left and was replaced by Krokus guitarist Mandy Meyer. Howe enjoyed brief and very minor success with GTR, another supergroup formed with Steve Hackett of Genesis. From Astra, here is the modest hit (#47) "Go" featuring Meyer's guitar work:

Go


Asia has had numerous twists in it's membership over the years and, although you probably weren't aware of it, they are still together. The four original members have recently reformed, and on March 16, 2007, it was announced on the band's Web site that Asia will be going into the studio this year to record a new album for release in early 2008. All four original members will contribute. This will mark the first recorded material from all four original members since 1983's Alpha.

Barbie Girl

Both Ft.Wayne newspapers endorse Charles Langley for city council

Fort Wayne City Council candidate CHARLES LANGLEY was endorsed this week by both Fort Wayne newspapers, the Journal Gazette and the News-Sentinel.

The Journal Gazette stated Langley is a “prime example of the type of person community leaders are talking about when they say they want to keep young talent in Fort Wayne. He would provide much-needed generational diversity to the council.”

Read here: Journal Gazette

The News-Sentinel says Langley “has an impressive understanding of the powers and limitations of local government. He has spent a lot of time getting to know the problems and potential of neighborhoods in the 4th District. He is particularly attuned to the needs and sentiments of the newly annexed residents of the city who are eligible to vote for a 4th District councilman for the first time. His first priority is not increasing city taxes – a priority surely shared by the newly annexed city residents among his prospective constituents, who are seeing the financial impact of annexation.”

Read here: News Sentinel

LANGLEY is running solid on the following issues:

Improving the economy, maintaining low taxes, and being fiscally responsible.
Improving roads and transportation of Aboite and Waynedale.
Maintaining and improving city services.
Increasing cooperation and efficiency between city and county agencies.

The choice in the Fourth District is clear.

Vote LANGLEY.

VideoVets: John Bruhns

Doggie Dilemna?

WARNING! Somewhat explicit!

Challenge of the Superduper Friends!

Bush Condoms

Strange But True

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.


This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.



However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Condolezza Rice, and Dan Quayle were all born.





See what happens when aliens breed with sheep.




This piece of information clears up a lot of things. . .

Prison Riot in Indiana

Click the image below to see the video from ABC News:

Shooting Crow

This is Sheryl Crow:



Sheryl Crow cares about this:



She's trying to prevent this :



Which is pretty ironic, since she's a:



This is Karl ;he asked Sheryl to NOT touch him:



This is Tim. Tim also doesn't want Sheryl touching him.



Maybe Karl and Tim need one of these:



A "Hill" inspired post

From the "We Just Don't Get It" Department

Apparently some players in the radio media didn't learn a thing from the Don Imus incident. This just in from New York City:

CBS Radio suspended two hosts from an FM station in New York City today after an Asian-American advocacy organization complained about the broadcast of a six-minute prank phone call to a Chinese restaurant that was peppered with ethnic and sexual slurs.

The call was first played on “The Dog House With JV and Elvis,” a midmorning show on WFNY, on April 5, the day after Don Imus made his comment about the Rutgers women’s basketball team on WFAN, another CBS-owned station. The call was then replayed on “The Dog House” on Thursday, a week after Mr. Imus was fired by CBS Radio.

In the skit, a series of apparently unsuspecting employees of a Chinese restaurant are berated by a caller who tells one woman he would like to “come to your restaurant” to see her naked, especially a part of her body he refers to as “hot, Asian, spicy.” The caller also attempts to order “flied lice,” brags of his prowess in kung fu and repeatedly curses at several employees.

New York-area chapters of the Organization of Chinese Americans have demanded an apology from the show’s hosts as well as from CBS Radio, and called for the firing of the hosts and their producer. Vicki Shu Smolin, president of the organization’s NYC chapter, said she was mystified that CBS would allow the call to be broadcast in the first place and then would permit it to be replayed in the aftermath of the Imus incident. The hosts of the Dog House had been waging a broad campaign in support of Mr. Imus both on the show and on its Web site.

“I just see plain ignorance in the CBS management — of the community, of who we are, of what we’re all about,” Ms. Shu Smolin said. “If they don’t fire the D.J.’s, it will be a double standard.”

She promised to rip a page from the playbook of Al Sharpton by staging protests of CBS Radio and boycotting advertisers on WFNY.

“They don’t think they’re going to get any backlash from the Asian-American community,” she said. “They’re definitely wrong.”

CBS Radio spokesperson, Karen Mateo, said that the two hosts, Jeff Vandergrift (JV) and Dan Lay (Elvis), had been suspended “without pay until further notice” and that Mr. Vandergrift, had apologized on today’s show. The show, which began on WFNY (92.3 FM) in January 2006, can be heard outside the New York City market only via the Internet.

You Tell Me

Hey y'all! It's Monday morning and time for another round of "make yer own caption"! If your vehicle needs servicing, this just might be the cat that you need to see:

Double Your Gas Mileage

Double Your Gas Mileage 2X - Watch the best video clips here

Saturday Seventies

Okay. . .I confess. This is yet another Friday Nite Retro Part Deux. I got to looking for some of my favorite songs from my teen years, the late 1970's, and ran across these entries. While most of them have alternative videos, the tunes are still the same, and I was pleased to find most of them regardless. I hope they bring you some nice memories as well:

Undercover Angel


Heaven on the Seventh Floor


Hot Child in the City


Dancin' Shoes


Magnet and Steel

Friday Nite Retro

Good evening and welcome to the latest edition of Friday Nite Retro! Tonight I'm featuring the work of John Waite. That name was the answer to a trivia question on American Top 40 in the mid-1980's. . .I recall that vividly, because my girlfriend at the time answered it, and I stopped umm. . what I was doing and said "What"?! I guess you had to be there. But that would be an entirely different story, so let's move on!

In case you aren't familiar with John, he began his career as the lead singer for "The Baby's". You'll likely remember this #1 hit from 1979:

Every Time I Think of You

Shortly after their fifth album "On the Edge" in1980 the group broke up. John launched a solo career in 1982 with his "Ignition" album featuring this hit single:

Change

His next album,"No Brakes", made him an international star. The album included the following smash hit and finally gained him some mass recognition:

Missing You

John's next role was as lead singer for Bad English, which also featured "Journey" members Neal Schon and Jonathon Cain, along with future Journey alum, Deen Castonovo. These two songs were from their debut album, and charted at #10 and #1 respectively:

Price of Love



When I See You Smile


John toured with Ringo Starr in 2003 as a part of his "All Starr Band", and In 2006 recorded a remake of "Missing You" as a duet with Allison Krauss, which was released as single in the Country Charts:

Missing You (remix)


Visit John's official website! Thanks for dropping by tonight. . .hopefully it was worth the Waite. =)

Move On McCain

Good Morning!!!

For whatever reason, I woke up this am and the first thought in my head (other than leftover dreams of Joe....) was that Abu Gonzo will be gone today.
Wonder if I'm psychic?

In the meantime, here's your righteous indignation for the day. Use it well.

Wilco - Box Full of Letters

I was going to feature these guys on FNR last week, but was unable to find enough video to support the post. Despite that, they are worthy of your time. Here's but a taste:

Today's bits and pieces

Things I stumbled across while looking up other things today:

Sun-Kyung Cho, the sister of the gunman responsible for the deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history, works as a contractor for a State Department office that oversees billions of dollars in American aid for Iraq.

Some sick bastards may be attempting to profit from that same tragedy. Careful what you click on. . .

Bush continued to demonstrate his mastery of the English language today at an appearance in Ohio.

Turns out John McCain is quite the singer. Not to mention quite yesterday's news in the 2008 presidential race. Robert has the video as well.

Barak Obama is NOT a millionaire. At least not this year. . .

I JUST realized that I'm supposed to be out getting into trouble this evening. I had a rough day and probably would have been lousy company. But I'm sure to catch hell for missing it! Sorry JQP!

DON'T FORGET!!! Tomorrow Thursday 4/19

Senate Hearing with Atty. Gen. Gonzales on Dept. of Justice Oversight (9:30am) - LIVE

It will be on CSpan 3 if you get it, or you can live stream video or audio at CSpan.

I will attempt to keep up with what goes on at Cliff Schecter, but since the teevee is in the other room it won't be minute to minute, but I will try and summarize.

Also, a reminder that tomorrow on Colbert, Stephen will be having a "metaphor off" with Sean Penn.

Virginia Tech Carnage

I'm still sorting out all of my feelings on the Virginia Tech massacre. I haven't really addressed it here because everyone is covering it, and I have an almost compulsory tendency to buck the trend. However, after three full days of coverage and viewpoints from all sides on talk radio, I have a few points to make and several facts to share with you:

First up, where do I fit into this discussion. I'm not sure myself, but here's the bio - I'm a progressive Democrat, and a gun owner. My view is that gun ownership is NOT a constitutional right (Read the ENTIRE second amendment), but rather a privilege afforded to us, much like a driver's license. I believe you have the right to own handguns, hunting rifles, etc. if you pass a background check and have no obvious red flags that would preclude your safe ownership of a firearm. I further believe that a gun safety/training program should be mandated as a condition of being granted a permit to own and/or carry a firearm. I also believe that a "waiting period" or "cooling off period" is probably a good idea; it prevents "crimes of passion".

I feel that this should not be one of those "state's rights" issues that conservatives love to tout as the answer to all that is evil with government. Allowing the individual states to enact and administer their own gun laws has been, in my opinion, disastrous. Every state has a different mindset on gun laws, from extremely liberal (Like Virginia) to very strict (New York). Don't like the gun laws in your state? Were you deemed an unsafe person to own a handgun? Just drive to another state where there are few or no restrictions, and circumvent your state's laws. This obviously does not serve the public interest and safety.

Gun legislation should be uniform, common-sense, and uniform in every state. Therefore it should be a federally mandated issue, with all gun owners subject to the same standards and scrutiny whatever their state of residency. Law enforcement already shares a ton of information across state lines and agencies, why not share a common database for background check information, and administer it federally? We already have a department of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms and a federal bureau of investigation. Put these people in charge of this and bring some standard oversight to who should or shouldn't be trusted with a gun.

Let's say that the above scenario is already in place, what sort of restrictions should be in place? I really don't have a problem with hunting rifles and shotguns. I am not a hunter; I would likely have trouble pulling the trigger if an innocent animal were centered in my sights. But I am also a carnivore, and as such, realize where my steak comes from. And my turkey, and chicken, and venison. And I couldn't care less if you like to hunt, as long as it's for sport and you eat the animal or use it's hide. If you're killing just to kill, I have a problem.

I also understand and agree with your right to carry a concealed handgun for personal protection, as long as you pass a background check, pass a safety course, and are found to be mentally sound enough to responsibly do so. If you wish to choose a semi-automatic pistol, that should be your choice. But I see absolutely no reason for extended clips for these guns, nor any good reason for full automatic weapons. These are military weapons that cannot be justified for personal use. Are you defending yourself from an attacking herd of deer?

Let's say that America has been invaded (unlikely), and foreign troops are in our streets. Are you going to go all "Rambo" and burst out of your house to eliminate them all at once? Right. . .they'll mow you down before you get half of them. But a nation of law-abiding citizens, a well-armed militia if you will, would follow the example set by our revolutionary forefathers - we'd hide in the shadows and pick them off one at a time with our sidearms and rifles as we silently text'd each other with our successes and plans. At least that's my view of the spirit of America. . .

That's my rant on the issue, and a clarification of my views. My hardware? I own two rifles, a Winchester .22 and a 120 year-old musket, both family heirlooms. And two pistols, a S&M.44 mag - long barrel, and a Walther PPK 9mm. I don't carry anymore; although I once did due to my work. I keep all but the Walther under lock and key, as I have small children. And I keep it and my clips separated, but close. I refuse to keep a loaded gun at the ready; I love my kids too much, and kids tend to find things which you think are hidden.

I'll finish up with a few facts that I have heard over the last few days that took me by surprise:

- There are roughly 30,000 deaths from firearms in the U.S. every year; 18,000 are from suicides. You're depressed, you have a gun, easy out. You're depressed. don't have a gun, you probably won't stab yourself to death.

- The chances that a handgun kept in the home will be used against it's owner by a perp, 9 out of 10. An invader will be on full sensory alert; will YOU when awakened by his presence, have time to react?

- A caller to a talk radio program that I listen to claimed that you have a three-second window to respond to an attacker if you are carrying. Do you think that fast in a critical situation? Does your "fight or flight" reaction allow such a rapid response?

Some of these points may cause me to rethink my former views on this subject. The best deterrents to invasion of your home seem to be lots of lights, a lack of obstructions (shrubs, etc) for a perp to hide behind, a dog (real or audio), and a good alarm system. I won't tell you which ones I currently use, but, good luck!

Tech Support

The crew at TEK hard at work under the supervision of AWB (at right)



Hey Dan, just a joke! ;)

I wanna know. . .

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? yeah, come on you do it too!!

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurts, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Final Season

Ed Schultz discusses Progressive Radio

You Tell Me

Good morning and welcome to Mundane. . err, Monday! If you're feeling like the little fella in this picture today, work yourself out of it by making an awesome caption for today's "You Tell Me" photo:

A Guide for Today's Man

Men's Merit and Demerit Guide

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are deducted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings......+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40


AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10


HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the
colors of your favorite team.....-10


A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15


A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-500


THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in
responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"......-100
Any other response.....-20


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience......+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her
saying "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200


IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000


Game Over - YOU LOSE

The End

Why we need to do everything in our power to stop the Bush madness:


The End - Click here for funny video clips

Plan your trip here!

Need directions for your next overseas trip? Try the following:

1. go to www.google.com

2. click on "maps"

3. click on "get directions"

4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)

5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)

6. scroll down to step #23

Banditos

Out of Iraq NOW

Robert has a great post from a soldier's perspective on the war in Iraq. Ladies and gentlemen, when even the loyal and duty-bound members of our armed forces are feeling such strong dissent, the question can only be "How soon can we re-deploy our boys and girls"?

Our brave children are being used as cannon fodder by a unitary executive who STILL believes that his control is absolute despite the lessons of the 2006 election. Bring our kids home now, impeach this would-be emperor and his lackies, and restore democracy to our great nation!

Friday Nite Retro

In what's becoming a great unorganized tradition, I stumbled across this first video while researching my Friday Nite Retro post. I quickly forgot about my original post and decided to instead feature these fun remixes. This first one is dedicated to my good friend and #1 Beatles Fan, Robert Rouse.

For those of you who don't recall these guys, Stars On, they did an album featuring mixed covers of Beatles songs as well as several other artists. This is the Beatles Mix from their album "Stars On Long Play":

"Beatles Remix"


Along that same genre (And also stuck in the '80's), Here's Jive Bunny and the Master Mixers swinging up their hopping big band mix:

"Swing the Mood"


And JB and the MM's again twisting and mixing through the 1960's:

"That's What I Like"


Oh and, what the hell, here's an Abba montage just for me:

"Abba Montage"


That one may just lead to an additional FNR featuring only Abba. . .you've been warned! ;)

FNR - Part Deux - The Abba Tribute

A Left in Aboite salute to my favorite Abba songs. . .


"Take a Chance on Me"


"The Winner Takes it All"


"Does Your Mother Know"


"Knowing Me, Knowing You"


"What's the Name of the Game"


"I Know There's Something Going On" (Frida - solo)

So It Goes. (Kurt Vonnegut 1922 - 2007)

Rest in peace, Sir. Thank you for all the company you provided me on lonely nights long ago.

WWJD?

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But the  
initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus  
drive?"  

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth  
because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the  
Garden of Eden in a Fury."  

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo.  
The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your  
Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."  

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers  
are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds  
a long blast."  

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to  
talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel  
where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own  
Accord..."  

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced  
by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph  
is heard in the hills."  

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler:  
"Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."  And,  
following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda...  
"The Apostles were in one Accord." 

McCain's new infomercial

Howdy folks! I'm Senator John McCain, but you can call me "The Pander Bear". I'm here this evening to promote an exciting new product that I had the privilege of testing during my recent shopping trip in Iraq. Ya see, with all of the negative reporting by the liberal media, people back home just aren't getting the true story on our progress in Iraq. In fact, I've been accused of "wearing rose-colored glasses". Now some might take that as an insult, but it got me to thinking about how I could change the erroneous perceptions that people keep reporting on our great successes in establishing this fine example of democracy in the middle east.

Hell, I have to thank these biased media types for that label. It inspired me to create this wonderful new invention that I am proud to introduce to you here today:


"The John McCain Reality Shades"!

I'm wearing a pair in the above picture from my trip to the market. And Mike Pence was gracious enough to help me test them out on that same trip. These special shades are made from a top-secret material, distortium, whose exact properties are known only by top Haliburton executives. Distortium has the ability to bend negative images before they enter the human eye, thus allowing the true images that would normally be blocked to be seen instead. I know, I know, it's all kinda sciencey. . .but the bottom line is - it works!

To prove it, I took photos from a standard digital camera. Here is the picture I took with the distortium lenses fitted onto that camera:


















And here is the picture I took after removing the distortium lenses:













Is there any question at all as to the importance of these special shades? I have personally paid for a pair of these for every media person who is reporting on our war against terror in Iraq! If they refuse to wear them. . .well then we know whose side they're on. Miserable bastards probably won't even send me a thank you note! I rotted in a Nam POW camp, where I lost my freaking mind, but do THEY give a rat's ass?? HELL NO!

Sorry about that. . .sometimes I have "flashbacks" and I have to take the "special pills" that our great and glorious leader, Mr.Bush, was able to find for me. They erase the rage and fill me up with love for him. . .honestly, sometimes I just can't keep my hands to myself! I. . LOVE. . .THAT. . . .MAN! You would to if you got to know him as well as I have. All of those nasty things he said about me in 2000 were just politics, he told me so! And George Bush is incapable of telling a lie! But I digress here. . .

Getting back on topic, I wish I could afford to give all of you a free pair of this high-tech eyewear, but Halibuton is charging more than a tankful of premium unleaded for production costs. So, by taking a very small profit, I am offering you these amazing new "reality shades" for the absolute lowest price possible: $2,999.95 Folks, I'm only making $1.00 per pair at that price! That being said, I'm ready to give you a pair of these for only $19.95, on one condition - your promise to vote for me in 2008. Now I know that some will say I am trying to buy your votes, which couldn't be further from the truth. I'm merely rewarding your loyalty to me, John McCain, the next fuhrer, err. . president of our great corpocracy, umm, democracy!

Thank you all! Good night and God bless!

-Senator John McCain

Today's Life Lesson

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

"There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "What's that?" came the Pastor's reply. "This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand." The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked. "Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.

The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork ..the best is yet to come."

The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.

Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be their time to "Keep your fork." Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share ... being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.

Air America goes Green

Crain's New York Business - March 19, 2007

New York family will run network as business, will ratings improve?

- By Matthew Flamm

In the weeks since Air America Radio emerged from bankruptcy, the liberal radio network's new president, Mark Green, has met with reporters, talked with affiliates and, in keeping with his history as political pugilist, taunted Fox News in the blogosphere.But he has also done something that hasn't been done since Air America launched in spring 2004: hired a vice president of programming to work with the talent. ``He's a guy deeply versed in radio,'' Mr. Green says of veteran talk radio programmer David Bernstein, who starts at the network today.The new hire is one component of what Mr. Green describes as Air America 2.0, an iteration that began when the network was purchased by real estate investor Stephen Green, Mr. Green's older brother. Deep pockets, the manhattan-based company, will continue to be a home for left-leaning or ``progressive'' talkers and produce 19 hours a day of programming. But according to Mr. Green, the new Air America will be run as a business.``We can't be influential if we're not profitable,'' says the onetime New York City public advocate and frequent Air America guest host, who has lost races for U.S. senator, mayor and, most recently, attorney general.

Referring to his elder brother's deep pockets and how much money he is willing to invest, Mr. Green says, ``Steve will not be to Air America what [News Corp Chairman] Rupert Murdoch still is to the New York Post.''The newly constituted Green Family Media can't do much worse than prior owners Progress Media and Piquant, which lost a total of $42 million and were both plagued by fallout from a scandal involving an improper loan from a charity.Stephen Green, chairman of SL Green Realty Corp. and of Air America, bought it out of bankruptcy for a mere $4.25 million from his pocket; minority partners contributed another $3 million.The chairman will oversee the business side of the network. The younger brother will put his background in advocacy and liberal politics to use as its public face. He will also be in charge of content and digital strategies.

Another radio veteran, Scott Elberg, who has been with Air America for two years, was named chief operating officer.Thanks to the bankruptcy, contracts with hosts are being negotiated in line with market rates, in contrast to the $2 million a year that the network's biggest star--and radio novice--Al Franken was paid. He left last month to run for the U.S. Senate from Minnesota. And the workforce of 50 staffers is half the number of a year ago.The Greens are also benefiting from the millions of dollars that were spent building and promoting Air America.

Expensive model``there was a huge startup cost of going into barren terrain and establishing that there was an audience for this,'' says Danny Goldberg, a music industry professional who was the network's chief executive for a year. ``[Air America] may not be moving at 100 miles an hour, but it's moving.''But the company is still founded on an expensive and unwieldy network model: creating a daily lineup of original programming, rather than producing just one or two shows.``It's hard enough to have a successful show in this business, let alone a [full] lineup,'' says Michael Harrison, editor of the trade magazine Talkers. Air America's business troubles have taken a toll. The network is down to 70 affiliates from a peak of almost 90, and many of those listed on its Web site carry no more than one show. Most stations mix in talkers from other networks, like the popular progressive Ed Schultz, or carry their own content.

Additionally, Air America is saddled in some markets with underperforming stations. Flagship WWRL-AM in New York, where the network moved last year after losing its lease at WLIB-AM, posted a paltry 0.8 share in the fall, according to Arbitron.``They've got an uphill battle,'' says Mark Lefkowitz, media director at Furman Roth Advertising, who stopped placing ads on Air America after it left WLIB.Messrs. Green and Elberg counter that they're rebuilding a New York presence on WWRL. They also insist that the network model can work because Air America has established itself as a brand. ``The name gives us leverage,'' Mr. Green says.

Some critics concede that Air America has been making improvements, in particular by moving popular host Thom Hartman into Mr. Franken's former noon-to-3 p.m. slot. What's more, well-run stations, notably in Portland, Ore., and Seattle, have maintained solid ratings.Some radio experts say that getting a network launched at all is an accomplishment that should not be underestimated.``[Air America] is in top markets with top programming and getting an audience,'' says Robert Unmacht of media consulting firm iN3 Partners. ``Now we just have to see if the new folks can run a solid business and keep the product worth listening to.''

Good Morning from Lovely Downtown Indiana.

Thanks Mike. Way to prop up the tourism industry.

In God we trust, the rest of us pay cash

Way back in August of 2006, I read a fantastic rant from Paddy Kraska (Who now contributes here at Left in Aboite) on the new "God plates" that the state of Indiana was spending so much time and effort on. We all had a great discussion regarding our thoughts on these new "specialty" plates. MY main beef, other than the obvious issue of state-sanctioned religion and the blurring of church and state, was that these so-called "specialty" plates were, in fact, not treated like every other available specialty plate offered by Indiana - There was NO EXTRA CHARGE for this plate!

If you want to pick any of the offered specialty plates, you'll shell out an extra $40 for the privilege , with $25 of that going to the plate's sponsor group and $15 for administrative costs. The IGWT plates DO NOT carry either of these fees! In my opinion, this furthers the case that the state of Indiana is sanctioning Christianity. I don't see any "no-extra-cost" plates for any other religions, organizations, schools, etc. . .

A good friend of mine, who's a devout Christian, opined that "Who would the sponsor money go to?". A valid point, as "foul" could easily be called by any religious organization other than the one who was recieving these funds. My thoughts were that some sort of public non-denominational fund could be set up and the proceeds could be distributed by an impartial panel. The discussion never went much further, and I never thought much about it again until I started seeing these plates all over the place this January.

Apparently, quite a few other folks were interested in the popularity of these plates. Some of them were interested enough to do some investigating and, you may want to take a deep breath here before reading the rest of this (particularly, you Libertarians),



as Thomas points out, WE, the taxpayers, are subsidizing these plates!

From Blue Indiana:

"The Terre Haute Tribune-Star reports today that the new "specialty" plates have taken Indiana by storm, and in turn have cost the state $3.69 for each public affirmation of spirituality. But that is more than fine, as BMV communications director Greg Cook doesn't even consider the new plates "specialty," but rather a legitimate alternative to the standard design. From the article:

Since the new "In God we trust" plates became available Jan. 1, nearly 400,000 have been requested and issued around Indiana, said Greg Cook, communications director for the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles. That means more than one in four vehicles eligible for the new plates have received one, Cook said.

A new state law that passed overwhelmingly in the Indiana General Assembly last year called on the BMV to issue the new plates beginning this year and to make them available to passenger vehicles, trucks with a gross weight of 11,000 pounds or less and recreational vehicles.

The law, authored by Rep. Woody Burton, R-Greenwood, also requires that the "In God we trust" plates be offered to Hoosier motorists at no additional charge compared with the standard Indiana plate.

In fact, the BMV is absorbing a cost of $3.69 for each plate ordered, according to a report in the Gary Post-Tribune.

The money needed to cover the cost is coming out of the Indiana Highway Fund, Cook said.

"It's more of an alternative standard plate," Cook said.

Nearly $1.5 million dollars later, the BMV appears ready to admit there is nothing special about these new plates, and they aren't treating them any differently than the standard state offering. How can you have something that you consider an alternative to the standard plate design, and yet still assert with a straight face that you don't treat the two as the same? All reports seem to indicate that the two are offered together, or in some cases, the new plate is being offered first and foremost.

The article goes on to mention that Georgia, North Carolina, Arkansas and Louisiana all offer their own version of this same design, but with statewide charities benefiting from the fee usually associated with such programs. Now let me ask you: If given a choice between a plate that isn't necessary and is costing the taxpayers nearly $4 bucks a pop, and a process that would allow those inclined in the state to affirm their trust in God while benefiting some social program in Indiana, which do you think they would choose? This was a perfectly legitimate opportunity to raise money for some worthy cause, and instead, it will instead go down as just another example of politicians who were happy to privilege an act of political pandering over the good of the people.

Ridiculous."

Ridiculous, indeed! We certainly have such marvelous roads here in Indiana that we can just pull $1.5M from the highway fund to sanction your right to wrap God in the flag and stick it on your bumper for all to see! What a deal for YOU - what a complete rip-off and disregard for the rights of the rest of us! What's next? Free "specialty" tags featuring anti-abortion messages? (I THINK there may already be one of these!) Anti-GLBT messages? Anti-Caucasian messages? (Should I be offended by the Black Expo plate?) Where will this end? When YOU become one of the groups who has to pay for YOUR specialty plate while others do not? Aren't we already there? ? ?

/rant.