Annual Terrorism Report Shows 29% Increase

In 2004, the State Department was forced to correct a first version of the ATR that BushCo had used to tout progress in it’s war on terror. The original had purposely undercounted the number of people killed in terrorist attacks in 2003, putting it at less than half of the actual number.

In 2005, the department was again accused of playing politics with the report when it decided to not even publish it after officials concluded that there were more terrorist attacks in 2004 than in any year since 1985.

Condoleezza Rice had actually considered postponing or downplaying the release of this year’s report once again, but decided to issue it by the congressionally mandated deadline of next Monday. No surprise that they wish to once again bury the facts that the 2006 ATR presents to the congress and the American people:

The report will show a nearly 30% increase over the 2005 numbers, from 11,111 in that year to 14,338 for 2006, with almost all of the boost due to growing violence in Iraq and Afghanistan. Not quite the "winning the war against terror" picture that they like to tout pretty much whenever their mouthes open. . .

In fact, after this year’s report was already largely completed and approved, Rice and her aides called for further reviews, in an attempt to avoid repeating embarrassing missteps of recent years in the report’s release. The review process is being led by Deputy Secretary of State John "Death Squad" Negroponte, coming soon to a killing field near you. I'm curious as to why these neo-cons from the 70's and 80's keep turning up like bad pennies. . .are there so few of them that they are forced to recycle themselves? Alas, that is another post for another day, but I AM most curious!

Da Shrub and his posse routinely call Iraq the “central front” in "the war on terrorism" and will, of course, claim that the preponderance of attacks there and in Afghanistan prove their point. The only problem with their claim is the fact that Iraq was a sponsor of no terror other than that directed internally by Saddam Hussein. The latest data shows that Iraq 's share of the WORLD numbers above equate to roughly 45% on the ENTIRE terrorist attacks IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! I never thought I'd ever miss W's daddy. . .other than a couple of unfortunate slip-ups, he always knew when to pull out. . .

Shrub and Shooter's claims that al-Qaida terrorists were in Iraq and allied with Saddam Hussein before the invasion has been disproved time and time again. As recently as last
September, the Senate Intelligence Committee reported their findings that Saddam rejected pleas for assistance from al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden and had even tried to capture Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, whose presence in Iraq was often used by Shooter as proof of ties between the two.

“Postwar findings indicate that Saddam Hussein was distrustful of al-Qaida and viewed Islamic extremists as a threat to his regime, refusing all requests from al-Qaida to provide material or operational support,” the Senate report said. Whaddaya know. . .we had a common enemy, we killed Saddam, now al-Quaida IS in Iraq and running rampant against our soldiers. We took a country that was unfriendly to terrorists, killed it's tyrant leader who opposed said terrorists, and sent thousands of our soldiers into the region to fight with friends (Shia or Sunni?) who look exactly like the foes (to our western eyes anyway), against "insurgents" who are basically patriots fighting a foreign occupation of their sovereign lands. It's like throwing out a god-damned buffet for the terrorists!

When I think of all the wasted money, the wasted lives of both American soldiers and Iraqis, the hatred that these neo-fascist bastards have caused to be directed towards America (and rightly so), I am ashamed. I hope that the will and spirit of the great experiment that we call America will prevail as it did last November, and restore us to at least a trustworthy ally if not the shining beacon of hope that we were before this buffoon and his cadre embarked upon their own personal mission of capitalism gone horribly awry. That is what I hope to dream about tonight. . .Good night and sweet dreams for all Americans, and those want to be, once more, a part of our circle of friends.

Relax - We're all safe now. . .

The war on terror is now officially over! Khalid Sheikh Mohammed today took full responsibility for the following acts:

• "I was responsible for 9/11 from A to Z, although I speak little English and have no idea what that phrase actually means".
• The killing of a US Marine off of Kuwait in 2002 - "Me again".
• The 1993 truck bombing of the WTC - "Yup, that too. Please release my blind friend"!
• Daniel Pearl's execution - "I was the slasher in that one".
• "I attempted to assasinate Jimmy Carter, the Pope, Bill Clinton, and Musharaf".
• The 2002 Kenya beach bombing - "Also my work".
• "I also planned to attack the Sears Tower, Big Ben, Empire State Building, NY Stock Exchange, Panama Canal and Heathrow Airport".
• "Nicole Brown & Ron Goldman. . .HA OJ, you were never even close"!
• "The Unabomber is an innocent man. Okay. . he's a whackjob, but he took the fall for me on that one".
• The Kennedy assasination - "I was the second gunman; the Warren Commission were total idiots"!
• "It was *I* who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby. Anyone who'd hang out with Prescott Bush. . .fascist had it coming".
• "I was the one who secretly damaged the thermal tiles and sliced the o-rings on your American space shuttles"!
• "You know that great meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs? From my lips to Allah's ears"!
• "I whispered my name into FDR's ear in his sleep. . .Hello, I said. . .*I* am FEAR".

*Editor's note: It should be noted that Mohammed spent several years in a black prison under CIA torture before finally being moved to Guantanano Bay - His mental faculties are definately in question! The Iraq Study Group Report indicated that he was a delusional individual with aspirations to greatness, realistic or self-authored, who craves publicity for his "acts".

So, in short, if he is actually guilty of all that he really confessed to, leaving out my obvious embellishments above, then. . .the war on terror truly IS over. So we can now:

• Redeploy our troops the hell out of Iraq.
• Redeploy the war funds to domestic needs.
• Redeploy this administration to a federal prison.
• Redeploy our destroyed world reputation by HELPING others.
• Redeploy corporations out of political control of our nation.
• Redeploy our true American spirit by working together for our common good.

Who am I kidding? KSM is guilty of being a member of al-Qaida, but he obviously isn't responsible for all of his torture-induced egotistical boasts. We CAN accomplish the above redeployments, however, and you know how. . .

ITMFA!