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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Comments From a Former Bush Loyalist

Gary over at American Agenda has a great post regarding a letter from a former Bush supporter. I think it nicely sums up what alot of those folks have been thinking recently. Interesting to hear the (former) other side's take on things. This guy is in no manner supportive of Democrats either; he gives an honest take on his mindset from 2000 til now.

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A cool math trick

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country.

1.GRAB A CALCULATOR. (YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THIS ONE IN YOUR HEAD)

2.KEY IN THE FIRST THREE DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER (NOT THE AREA CODE)

3.MULTIPLY BY 80

4.ADD 1

5.MULTIPLY BY 250

6.ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER

7.ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER AGAIN.

8.SUBTRACT 250

9.DIVIDE NUMBER BY 2

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE ANSWER?

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Horrible Revelation Revealed in Tragic Accident

A case of mistaken identity has been reported in the case of a tragic April 26th accident on an Indiana interstate. CoffBgPlz has the full story over at ExCapeAtIt'sFinest.

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

South Dakota abortion ban going to a vote

Abortion ban repeal drive gets 37,846 signatures

(From the Argus Leader in Sioux Falls)

The South Dakota Campaign for Healthy Families announced Tuesday that it had secured more than twice the number of signatures it needed to refer the abortion ban passed by the 2006 Legislature to a vote of the people this fall.

At a press conference at the Downtown Holiday Inn, officials with the campaign said they had 37,846 signatures – more than double the 16,728 they needed to get.

Those signatures still need to be validated.

Supporters of the repeal said they had 1,200 volunteers from 138 communities circulate the petitions. None of the volunteers were paid, they said.

The abortion ban passed by the 2006 Legislature “is the wrong approach to reducing unintended pregnancies,’’ former South Dakota Attorney General Roger Tellinghuisen said Tuesday.

Tellinghuisen was one of three opponents of the ban who participated in a teleconference before members of the group traveled to Pierre to file a petition to force the abortion law to a public vote.

The group planned to file nearly 38,000 signatures with the secretary of state in Pierre early Tuesday afternoon. That’s about 20,000 more than required for a referral – the process by which citizens may veto actions of the Legislature.

Jan Nicolay, a co-chair of the campaign to refer the abortion law, said a likely lawsuit if the ban becomes law “would cost a great deal of money,’’ but she said more important that than, the nearly total ban on abortion “tells victims of rape and incest they have no options.’’

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Bush lied about Snow Resignation

(Or. . today on "As the door revolves. . .)

From Think Progress:

On May 25th, President Bush said that Treasury Secretary John Snow had not given him any indication that he was leaving soon:

PRESIDENT BUSH: Secretary of Treasury Snow?

Q Has he given you any indication he intends to leave his job any time soon?…

PRESIDENT BUSH: No, he has not talked to me about resignation. I think he’s doing a fine job. (MAN! Everybody there does a heckuva fine job!)

In fact, not only had Snow indicated he was leaving, President Bush had already settled on his replacement. Today, Tony Snow said that Hank Paulson was offered the job on May 20 and accepted a day later:

QUESTION: Do you have any tick tock on the Paulson…

SNOW: Yes. The tick tock is the two of them met on the 20th of May and there was a conversation. And Hank Paulson accepted the job a day later. That was subject to clearance. It does take time, especially for a Senate confirmable position, to complete those. So it did take time to get some of those clearances wrapped up.
Later in the briefing, Tony Snow essentially admitted that Bush misled the public, claiming it was necessary to protect the market:

QUESTION: Can I just ask you one other follow-up on Karl about Secretary Snow? When the president was asked, when he was standing next to Prime Minister Blair and millions of people were watching, he’s telling the American people that: I have got no indication the secretary’s going to resign…

SNOW: No, He has not talked to me about resignation. I mean, it was very carefully worded. But again, what you didn’t want to have, I think, is at a period of time when you haven’t finished doing your clearances for the person you want to fill that position, you don’t want to have chaos in the markets. It was…

QUESTION: But he’s already offered it to somebody. He’s got it in hand. I mean, he offered these positions all the time and wait for FBI and background searches that sometimes take a long time. I mean, the Supreme Court nominees take six weeks. But you still announced to the public you’re pick somebody…

SNOW: Well, but you know, again Hank Paulson at that time, you don’t announce somebody who hasn’t been pre-cleared. You haven’t finished the clearance process, you don’t announce it. Period. I mean, it’s just…

QUESTION: But it’s not even announcing him. You could have been direct and said: We’re expecting…

SNOW: Well no — with all due respect, I think there was some concern again about how something like that affects the markets. If you have uncertainty for an extended period of time, which would have been, at that point, four or five days, I think that is something that you’ve got to worry about and you’ve got to be responsible in dealing with it.

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Monday, May 29, 2006

VWI?

Coffee, over at Excape@it'sFinest, had an interesting thought regarding voter turnout on election day and state liquor laws. While I must profess ignorance on federal law and other state's take on this issue, here in Indiana it is illegal to sell alcohol in any manner or form while the polls are open.

Coff suggested that if this law was repealed, the local Republicans would be less likely to vote. My thoughts on this? I knew you were dying to know. . .;)

Conservatives tend to be the "plan ahead", "cover yer ass","self-sufficient" type of voters. I'm guessing they're pretty well stocked on the beverages of their choice; and can country clubs still serve alcohol privately during polling hours? I really don't know. I'm guessing the "power players" might have a way around this if it IS illegal.

Despite the fact that the great majority of Democrats are working-class people and more inclined to drop by the local tavern for a beer or two on the way home, I doubt that a beer or two would sway their political views. Nay, it would probably only strengthen them. Therefore, I suggest that eliminating the alcohol ban during polling hours would actually increase the Democratic vote, as long as there can be a buddy system in place. It CAN be difficult to vote when you've had a few rounds. And, with the Diebold technology in place, most voters already feel like they're guilty of VWI (Voting While Intoxicated).

So, in short, I agree with Coff.

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New Police Interceptor

I've got some good news and some bad news, depending on your propensity to break the law.

The good people of America will be glad to know that the ancient Ford Police Interceptor is no longer the only "proper" police car on the market. Pretty soon, police departments will be able to trade in their archaic body-on-frame Fords with their underpowered 250-hp 4.6-liter V-8s for the new Dodge Charger squad car, which is considerably faster, better handling, more efficient, and safer.

For criminally minded individuals, however, this is apocalyptic. It means that the police will be able to respond faster and will be more difficult to outrun on the highway or elude on city streets. When the inevitable occurs, lowlifes will find the rear compartment isn't air-conditioned or heated and it's not awfully comfortable either, especially with a set of cuffs on. The only bright spot for perps is that it should get you to the station faster than ever, and if it happens to be a HEMI-powered model, it'll make a pleasing V-8 rasp along the way.

Conner Twomey from CarConnection.com has the full scoop.

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Memorial Day

In memory of Lt. Commander John Russell Good (1922-1999)



Viewing the officers in the second row, and looking right, my father is the fifth. This ship was his command during WW2. He also served in Korea, and tried to serve again in Viet Nam but was declined due to his age at that time.

Dad wore many hats in his life. He was an accomplished mason, taught English at Norwell High School, and served in several state law-enforcement and community-service positions. He and my mother were activist Democrats who worked on campaigns from JFK to local candidates J.Edward Roush and Birch Bayh. I was blessed to have them as my parents and I miss both of them dearly.

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Sunday, May 28, 2006

Hybrid Vehicle

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PINK FLOYD’S LATEST:


‘DUBYA — ANOTHER PRICK ON THE WALL

By Don Davis

Needless to say, to the tune of The Wall, Part 2:

His base don’t need no education
They just want more thought control
No evolution in the classroom
Darwin leave their kids alone
Hey! Darwin! Leave their kids alone!
They just wanna’ keep - Mexicans out with a wall
That’s why Dubya’s just, another prick on the wall

They don’t want no fornication
They don’t need no birth control
No sex-ed, in any classrooms
Kinsey leave their kids alone
Hey! Kinsey! Leave their kids alone!
They just wanna’ keep - Mexicans out with a wall
That’s why Dubya’s just, another prick on the wall

“Wrong, Do it again! If you don’t vote Republican, yer can’t have global warming. How can you ban condoms if yer don’t vote Red State? You! Yes, you behind the Confessional, go backwards laddy!”

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Saturday, May 27, 2006

Blog Rolling

I made the decision tonight to switch my links over to Blog Rolling. You, constant reader, will see little visible difference other than the fact that doing a "mouseover" on my "My Daily Reads" links will show additional personalized info for each link. Nothing else will appear different from your side of the screen.

BlogRolling will, however, allow me to easily add or modify my links at the push of a button, rather than editing my entire template and republishing everything. If you are a blog owner, I strongly encourage you to at least check these guys out. And I have to give a big old shout out to
Dusty for turning me on to this. We don't call her Dustalicious for nothing! She's on top of the latest and coolest trends and tools in the blogosphere.

I am also seriously considering moving my comments from Blogger to HaloScan. I have, in fact, already registered this blog with them. Halo is a much tighter system with better security and options. The only negative that I have noted is that when transferring, I will likely lose ALL comments made on postings prior to the change. I would appreciate any opinions on this decision, be they pro or con, as I am still on the fence on this one.

Thanks for spending some of your time with me here. I always look forward to your comments!

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Michelle Malkin's White Supremacist Ties

Bill O'Reilly was mad a couple of weeks back. A former CIA analyst, Ray McGovern, had attacked Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and no one in the media had mentioned McGovern's "far-left credentials."

"He's just off the chart," O'Reilly said. "He's a far-left dedicated zealot, and the press, after he does it, just says, 'Oh, he's just a CIA analyst,' like he's got some credibility. Come on!"

And, of course, this was just more evidence of the media's insidious liberal bias.

"If this McGovern guy had ties to the Ku Klux Klan or the John Birch society," O'Reilly said, "don't you think that would have been in the headline? . . . If this guy had been a right-wing nut instead of a left-wing nut, number one, he never would have got on television, and number two, they would have slaughtered him."

And then O'Reilly had Michelle Malkin on.

Oh well. . .it was a nice strawman while it lasted, Bill.







See, Malkin, the conservative columnist, blogger,and Fox News contributor, has some affiliations of her own, some skeletons in the closet that O'Reilly never bothered to mention. . .skeletons like VDARE.com.

Named for Virginia Dare, the first white person born in the New World, the site has been named by the anti-racist Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group. And for good reason: the site is dedicated to pushing the kind of pseudo-science the Nazis could have only dreamed of using to support their racial fantasies. Forget phrenology: VDARE spends its time touting books that purport to prove that the average IQ of sub-Saharan Africans is 67, below the accepted standard criteria for a diagnosis of mental retardation.

The Anti-Defamation League notes that the author of the review, J. Philippe Rushton, has been less than subtle about his racism. "During [a] 1996 conference... Rushton lectured at length about the sexual differences among various races, arguing that blacks, while possessing smaller brains, reproduce at a faster rate due to the larger size of their sex organs. 'Not to reinforce stereotypes,' he has said elsewhere, 'but it's a trade-off: more brain or more penis, you can't have everything.' ... He has also stated that Nazi Germany's military prowess was due in part to the purity of their gene pool."

Malkin's ties to the site are legion: it regularly prints her column, while she employs one of its writers, Juan Mann, as the principal writer of her "Immigration Blog" and lists the site on her blogroll. And it's not as if Malkin isn't well aware of the criticism, both of the site and her ties to it. . .in a post on her blog in September 2004, she noted that "my friend Peter Brimelow (founder of VDARE) observes that some people apparently think linking to VDARE is tantamount to a hate crime." What do you know. . .for once, he's right.

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Scientists ponder "invisibility cloak"

Imagine an invisibility cloak that works just like the one Harry Potter inherited from his father. Or maybe like the shields used by the Romulan ships in Star Trek. . .


American and British researchers think they know how to do that. They are laying out the blueprint and calling for help in developing the exotic materials needed to build a real-life cloak.The keys are special manmade materials, unlike any in nature,Hogwarts School or Romulus. These materials are intended to steer light and other forms of electromagnetic radiation around an object, rendering it as invisible as something tucked into a hole in space.

"Is it science fiction? Well, it's theory and that already is not science fiction. It's theoretically possible to do all these Harry Potter things, but what's standing in the way is our engineering capabilities," said John Pendry, a physicist at the Imperial College London. Details of the study, which Pendry co-wrote, appear in Thursday's online edition of the journal Science. Scientists not involved in the work said it presents a solid case for making invisibility an attainable goal. "This is very interesting science and a very interesting idea and it is supported on a great mathematical and physical basis," said Nader Engheta, a professor of electrical and systems engineering at the University of Pennsylvania. Engheta has done his own work on invisibility using novel materials called metamaterials.

Pendry and his co-authors also propose using metamaterials because they can be tuned to bend electromagnetic radiation — radio waves and visible light, for example — in any direction. A cloak made of those materials, with a structure designed down to the submicroscopic scale, would neither reflect light nor cast a shadow. Instead, like a river streaming around a smooth boulder, light and all other forms of electromagnetic radiation would strike the cloak and simply flow around it, continuing on as if it never bumped up against an obstacle. That would give an onlooker the apparent ability to peer right through the cloak, with everything tucked inside concealed from view.

"Yes, you could actually make someone invisible as long as someone wears a cloak made of this material," said Patanjali Parimi, a Northeastern University physicist and design engineer at Chelton Microwave Corp. in Bolton, Mass. Parimi was not involved in the research. Such a cloak does not exist, but early versions that could mask microwaves and other forms of electromagnetic radiation could be as close as 18 months away, Pendry said. He said the study was "an invitation to come and play with these new ideas." "We will have a cloak after not too long," he said.

The Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency supported the research, given the obvious military applications of such stealthy technology. While Harry Potter could wear his cloak to skulk around Hogwarts, a real-world version probably would not be something just to be thrown on, Pendry said. "To be realistic, it's going to be fairly thick. Cloak is a misnomer. 'Shield' might be more appropriate," he said. I hope Romulus doesn't own the patent rights. . .

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Nevada blast put on hold indefinitely
Residents fear 700 tons of explosives could kick up radiation


WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The planned detonation of 700 tons of conventional explosives in the Nevada desert next month was postponed indefinitely Friday because of fears over the possible spread of radiation.
The detonation site for the blast, known as "Divine Strake," is at the Nevada Test Site, which is 65 miles northwest of Las Vegas.

The 1,375-square-mile swath of land in southern Nevada is where the United States tested many of its nuclear weapons before President George H.W. Bush signed a testing moratorium in 1992.

The plan was to detonate 1.4 million pounds of fuel oil and fertilizer -- 280 times the amount used in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing.

The prospect has drawn critics, who say the explosion could kick radiation-laced soil into the air, and conspiracists, who say the blast is a front for testing new nuclear weapons.

There is no indication if or when the blast will take place.

The National Nuclear Security Administration, a branch of the Department of Energy that operates the test site, initially gave the go-ahead for the test, saying there is "no radioactively contaminated soil in the vicinity of the detonation site."

The agency said Friday night it would withdraw its "finding of no significant impact" related to the test.

It said it wanted to clarify its earlier statement and provide further information on background radiation in the soil.

Background radiation is relatively constant low-level radiation from artificial and environmental sources such as cosmic rays and building materials.

Agency spokesman Darwin Morgan said lots of soil in the Northern Hemisphere has some level of background radiation.

Natural sources like uranium ore or radon can cause it, as can atmospheric nuclear weapons tests.

Prediction: Dust cloud two miles high
Rep. Jim Matheson of Utah, a Democrat, has long been a critic of the Pentagon's Defense Threat Reduction Agency's plans for Divine Strake.

"I was greatly concerned, and expressed as much to the director of DTRA," Matheson said. "I advised him to put all the health and safety data out on the table so that people's fears about being once again exposed to radioactive contamination could be addressed.

"I am very pleased to see that these agencies have acted on my advice."

The planners had hoped to dig a huge pit on a hillside, fill it with the explosives and detonate them to see if the blast would destroy an 1,110-foot tunnel directly beneath the pit.

The Pentagon predicted the explosion could send a cloud of dust two miles high into the atmosphere.

The blast was supposed to be an experiment on how better to attack underground targets like the bunkers used by North Korea and Iran to protect their nuclear facilities.

Earlier this month, the blast was pushed from June 2 to June 23 because Native Americans and other groups sued to stop the blast because of environmental concerns.

The Native Americans also claim they are the true owners of the Nevada Test Site land.

The specter of nuclear-laden dust is a sensitive subject for those living downwind of the test range in Nevada and Utah, where generations of people have dealt with health problems blamed on fallout from above-ground nuclear tests in the 1950s.

The word "strake" used in the experiment's name is a nautical term, referring to planking extending along the length of a ship.

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Friday, May 26, 2006

Flashback

The following was a post from a prior "blog" of yours truly. Just as a reference point on the rising fuel prices. FYI: I filled up today at $2.79 per gallon (tax exempt).

Saturday, October 16, 2004

10:47:09 PM EDT Feeling Angry Hearing CNN

Diesel
WHY in the hell is diesel fuel now costing 10-15 cents more per gallon than regular unleaded?? Diesel is ALWAYS cheaper than other fuels because it requires less refining. I had to pay $2.06 per gallon this week! The station across the street is at $2.29!!!
I was paying $1.69 per gallon as recently as August. . .gimme a break here.

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The Immigration Issue

Thanks to Dusty for turning me on to this one!

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Glenda takes on Hallmark

Glenda in the Land of Oz offers up her pics for greeting cards that Hallmark just hasn't seen fit to offer up to us as of yet. Enjoy!

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Religion in Politics

Blue Gal has an extremely well-done report (We never expect less from her, of course) on the current state of religion in politics today. It's well worth your time to stop by and check it out.

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The New Fireworks Law

Dick over at Dick in the Dirt explains the real reason why the state of Indiana recently revised it's fireworks regulations. What a surprise. . .

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Today's Laugh

A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a major asshole to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back."

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Well, no. I guess I haven't. Not with a carnation anyway."

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Random Thoughts

Everybody else has been doing this, so call me a late starter. . .

I like a constant temperature of 72 degrees. Today blew. If today was a preview, I vote we go straight to fall.

I got new glasses today. Now I can become disoriented by looking down or sideways. Beer causes the same effect for far less money.

Someday I'll finish framing and drywalling this basement. This basement is larger than our last house.

It stays 67 degrees down here year-round. On days like today, I really appreciate that.

I have a stocked lake in my backyard. I don't fish. Is that wrong?

I've driven V-8's for all but 6 years of my life. For all but 2 years of my life, gas was under $2 per gallon. Will I finally have to downgrade?

Looking at my collection, I appear to have roughly 1000 cd's. I can't say the last time I pulled one out and played it. Ditto for VHS and DVD's.

Taylor Hicks won American Idol last night. I haven't watched this season since the 3rd or 4th show, but remembered this guy. I thought he was good, but didn't have a chance. Glad I was wrong.

Sometimes Seattle seems like Alaska. You know who you are.

My friend who moved to Seattle refers to Fort Wayne as the "armpit of America". JQP will likely approve of that.

I planned on attending NLT for an hour or two early tonight. But. . I was tired, had to pick up the new specs, the lawn needed mowed, the kids needed retrieved. Am I a Yuppie? Does anyone still know what a Yuppie IS?

I friggin' HATE the fact that it's still daylight RIGHT NOW and will be for another hour. If you want to play golf til 10 at night move to wherever that naturally happens, but leave my clocks alone. *I* want to wind down and go to sleep at a normal hour.

My oldest daughter hates Mitch Daniels cause "he makes the sun stay up late and I can't get sleepy". God, I love her.

Earlier this week, my wife, upon discovering that we were out of coffee, arose at 4 AM to go purchase more so that I would have fresh brewed at 5:30. I love her dearly for that!

Osama Bin Laden knows he is safe from harm from the US, as long as he hides in countries that have no substantial oil reserves and Bush is in charge.

Bush always wanted to "out do" Daddy. Congrats on the latest polls, dumbass.

Aside from that, is there anything that duct tape and cable ties can't fix?



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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

FBI Raid Unites Party Leaders on Capitol Hill



Full story HERE.

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Wiener Rafting

I'm guessing this dude's buns are soggy. . .

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Are we safer in the dark?


Click here to play the video and see for yourself. . .

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

A Message for Barry Bonds. . .

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No Gay Marriage (Unless they're GOP)

The issue of gay marriage is causing divisions within the Republican Party, including the highest reaches of the White House.

The split has been so pronounced that President Bush faces strong opposition within his own administration to a constitutional amendment that would outlaw gay marriage. The split has pitted Mr. Bush against his own wife, first lady Laura Bush.

Mrs. Bush has warned that promoting the amendment could backfire against the GOP in congressional races in November. She has suggested that a constitutional amendment would hamper any constructive debate over gay marriage.

"Well, I don't think it should be used as a campaign tool, obviously," Mrs. Bush said. "But I do think it's something that people in the United States want to debate. And it requires a lot of sensitivity to talk about the issue, a lot of sensitivity."

"People, I have found, over the country don't want the governor of Massachusetts or the mayor of San Francisco to make the choice for them—the courts of Massachusetts, I should say," the first lady told Fox News. "So I think it deserves debate. I think it's something that people want to talk about."

Administration sources said the split has divided the GOP majority in the Senate. They said that, unless the White House presents a united front, the proposed constitutional amendment will fail in the Senate.

Vice President Dick Cheney, whose daughter is a lesbian, also opposes the bill. Administration sources said Mr. Cheney has argued against introducing a constitutional amendment in 2006.

In 2004, Mr. Cheney's daughter, Mary, was said to have nearly quit the Bush-Cheney campaign because of the president's position on gay marriage. Miss Cheney has been touring the talk show circuit and speaking out against the marriage amendment.

"What I can say is look, amending the constitution with this amendment, this piece of legislation, is a bad piece of legislation," Miss Cheney said. "It is writing discrimination into the constitution, and, as I say, it is fundamentally wrong."

Sources said the administration has to act quickly as the Senate plans to debate legislation in the first week of June that would define marriage as the union between a man and a woman. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist and White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove have been forceful proponents of the legislation.

Both Mr. Frist and Mr. Rove have assessed that the legislation will help mobilize the Christian Right to support GOP candidates for Congress. Recent polls show a sharp drop in support for the administration among conservatives.

"I basically say, Mr. Vice President, right now marriage is under attack in this country," Mr. Frist said. "And we've seen activist judges overturning state by state law, where state legislatures have passed laws defining marriage between a man and a woman, and that's being overturned by a handful of activist judges around the country. And that is why we need an amendment to come to the floor of the United States Senate to define marriage as that union between one man and one woman."

On May 18, the Senate Judiciary Committee, in a vote split along party lines, approved a constitutional amendment that banned gay marriage. The committee hearing was marred by a shouting match between Chairman Arlen Specter, Pennsylvania Republican, and Democratic Sen. Russ Feingold of Wisconsin, who walked out of the session.

"I don't need to be lectured by you," Mr. Specter told Mr. Feingold. "You are no more a protector of the constitution than am I."

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Bush's new border plan

Submitted by Stan M.

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Monday, May 22, 2006

F.U.B.A.R. by Sam Seder

The United States has survived clueless presidential administrations before. But no matter how enormous the crisis -- the Great Depression, Vietnam, Watergate, Monica Lewinsky's thong -- America's always come out looking like, well, America.



This time, however, something's different. Things aren't just screwed up; they're f&#!$d up beyond all recognition. Wel-come to F.U.B.A.R., a scathing satire of the American Right's bad behavior, by the creators of Air America's Majority Report.



If you're a liberal who's somehow not panicked over the state of our Union, or if you're a Republican who's just having voter's remorse, or if you think what's happening to the country is just politics as usual, F.U.B.A.R. will open your eyes to our current national nightmare. With completely unfair and unbalanced analysis, authors Sam Seder and Stephen Sherrill take readers on a whirlwind tour of what's left of the United States, exposing the truth about the Right's blueprint for total domination -- over your money, your mind, your sex life, and even your place in the afterlife (yes, they have a plan for that, too).



Along the way, they'll answer your most pressing questions, like:



  • I'm gay. Can I still be a Republican?


  • Do I need to own my own congressman, or is a time share okay?


  • Is New York Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman's mustache, in fact, the sign of the Beast?


  • I thought we ran the media. What happened?




Available May 23rd everywhere. And just remember: every time someone purchases "FUBAR," a conservative soils themselves.




Want to get more FUBAR'd? Check out the links below to listen to various phone calls Sam's placed to right-wing organizations, as heard on The Majority Report. Is the Movie Shark tale a tool to turn your kid gay? Is the world really only 10,000 years old? How many people of "loose mores" in the city of Boston is Senator Rick "man-on-dog" personally aware of? Find out.










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Bush's Base Betrayal

An excellent read on how and why Bush's base is washing away from him. There is a link to the full story at the end. From the Washington Post:

In 2004, Republican leaders pleaded with conservatives -- particularly religious conservatives -- to register people to vote and help them turn out on Election Day. Those efforts strengthened Republicans in Congress and probably saved the Bush presidency. We were told: Just wait till the second term. Then, the president, freed of concern over reelection and backed by a Republican Congress, would take off the gloves and fight for the conservative agenda. Just wait.

We're still waiting.

Sixty-five months into Bush's presidency, conservatives feel betrayed. After the "Bridge to Nowhere" transportation bill, the Harriet Miers Supreme Court nomination and the Dubai Ports World deal, the immigration crisis was the tipping point for us. Indeed, a Washington Post-ABC News poll found last week that Republican disapproval of Bush's presidency had increased from 16 percent to 30 percent in one month. It is largely the defection of conservatives that is driving the president's poll numbers to new lows.

Emboldened and interconnected as never before by alternative media, such as talk radio and Internet blogs, many conservatives have concluded that the benefits of unwavering support for the GOP simply do not, and will not, outweigh the costs.

The main cause of conservatives' anger with Bush is this: He talked like a conservative to win our votes but never governed like a conservative.


Read the FULL WA-PO story HERE.

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Upgrade



Now I'll never have to venture away from my computer ever again!

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Sunday, May 21, 2006

Actual Bush Quotes

This is a long post, but I know you'll enjoy it!

"People don't need to worry about security. This deal wouldn't go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America." —George W. Bush, on the deal to hand over U.S. port security to a company operated by the United Arab Emirates, Washington, D.C., Feb. 23, 2006

"You took an oath to defend our flag and our freedom, and you kept that oath underseas and under fire." —George W. Bush, addressing war veterans, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2006

"As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself — not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch. As a matter of fact, the Colonel asked if I needed first aid when she first saw me. I was able to avoid any major surgical operations here, but thanks for your compassion, Colonel." —George W. Bush, after visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, Jan. 1, 2006

"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." —George W. Bush, defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News interview, Dec. 12, 2005

"Wow! Brazil is big." —George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005

"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend." —George W. Bush, on visiting Denmark, Washington D.C., June 29, 2005

"We discussed the way forward in Iraq, discussed the importance of a democracy in the greater Middle East in order to leave behind a peaceful tomorrow." —George W. Bush, Tbilisi, Georgia, May 10, 2005

"I can only speak to myself." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table." --Brussels, Belgium, Feb. 22, 2005

"I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?" --in a note to to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a U.N. Security Council meeting, September 14, 2005

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." --to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his handling of the Hurricane Katrina debacle, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005

"You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." --to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

"I'm going to spend a lot of time on Social Security. I enjoy it. I enjoy taking on the issue. I guess, it's the mother in me." --Washington D.C., April 14, 2005

"Because he's hiding." —George W. Bush, responding to a reporter who asked why Osama bin Laden had not been caught, aboard Air Force One, Jan. 14, 2005

"Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" —George W. Bush, at the white House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005

"I have a record in office, as well. And all Americans have seen that record. September the 4th, 2001, I stood in the ruins of the Twin Towers. It's a day I will never forget." —George W. Bush, Marlton, New Jersey, Oct. 18, 2004

"The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." —George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

"I'm not the expert on how the Iraqi people think, because I live in America, where it's nice and safe and secure." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004
"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'" —George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004

"Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." —George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

"We actually misnamed the war on terror. It ought to be the Struggle Against Ideological Extremists Who Do Not Believe in Free Societies Who Happen to Use Terror as a Weapon to Try to Shake the Conscience of the Free World." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

"I wish I wasn't the war president. Who in the heck wants to be a war president? I don't." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

"Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming in their country and trying to destabilize their country." —George W. Bush, interview with Al Arabiya Television, May 5, 2004

"They could still be hidden, like the 50 tons of mustard gas on a turkey farm." —George W. Bush, on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, Washington, D.C. , April 13, 2004

"God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear." —George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004

"Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter." —George W. Bush, advising quail hunter and New Mexico Sen. Pete Domenici, Roswell, N.M., Jan. 22, 2004

"This very week in 1989, there were protests in East Berlin and in Leipzig. By the end of that year, every communist dictatorship in Central America had collapsed." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 6, 2003

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." —George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003

"My answer is bring them on."—On Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. forces, George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

"I don't bring God into my life to — to, you know, kind of be a political person." —George W. Bush, interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003
"When Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 22, 2003


"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, May 3, 2003



"Haven't we already given money to rich people? Why are we going to do it again?" —George W. Bush, to economic advisers discussing a second round of tax cuts, as quoted by Paul O'Neil, Washington, D.C., Nov. 26, 2002

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." —George W. Bush, Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

"See, we love — we love freedom. That's what they didn't understand. They hate things; we love things. They act out of hatred; we don't seek revenge, we seek justice out of love." —George W. Bush, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

"Tommy (Thompson) is a good listener, and he's a pretty good actor, too." —George W. Bush, apparently confusing his Health and Human Services secretary with Sen. Fred Thompson, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur." —George W. Bush, discussing the decline of the French economy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." —George W. Bush, June 18, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?" —George W. Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001, as reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." —George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily NewsApril 23, 2002

"Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of (Dr. Seuss's) 'Hop on Pop.'" —George W. Bush, in a speech about childhood education, Washington, D.C., April 2, 2002

"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and witness my hanging." —George W. Bush, at the dedication of his portrait, Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2002

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." —George W. Bush, at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001

"When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. Sept. 19, 2001

"Brie and cheese." —George W. Bush, to reporters, on what he imagines reporters eat, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 23, 2001

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it." —George W. Bush, July 27, 2001

"You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles." —Goerge W. Bush, referring to his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, July 23, 2001

"I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy….I was able to get a sense of his soul." —George W. Bush, after meeting Russian President Vladimir Putin, June 16, 2001

"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency." —George W. Bush, June 14, 2001, speaking to Swedish Prime Minister Goran Perrson, unaware that a live television camera was still rolling.

"So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations." —George W. Bush, in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001

"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." —George W. Bush, declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001

"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, often times, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from." —George W. Bush, Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." —George W. Bush, in a CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —George W. Bush, Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." —George W. Bush, Jan. 3, 2000

President George W. Bush walked into Nalle Elementary School in Southeast Washington to talk about the importance of reading. "One reason I like to highlight reading is, reading is the beginnings of the ability to be a good student," Bush said. "This is also Black History Month," the President added. "And what's important about Black History Month is to read about different heroes who have made a difference in making history, and to realize there are fantastic role models. So this is a combination of history, plus reading. So thanks for letting me come by."
"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well." Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

"You know I could run for governor but I'm basically a media creation. I've never done anything. I've worked for my dad. I worked in the oil business. But that's not the kind of profile you have to have to get elected to public office." George W. Bush, 1989

"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were," he said. "It was us vs. them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." George W. Bush, Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000

"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." George W. Bush--Interview with the New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." George W. Bush, Interview with the New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001

"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis." George W. Bush, CNBC, April 15, 2000

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SNL - Fun With Real Audio

Gee, although it used to be my favorite show on TV, I had tended to write off Saturday Night Live over the last decade or so. However, after viewing some of their most recent work, such as this Fun With Real Audio clip from Robert Smigel, I'm inclined to stay up and tune into them once more. Click the screen capture of this video to view it for yourself!

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The New CEO

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.

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Lieberman Wins Nomination, But Lamont Forces Primary!

Joe Lieberman was nominated for a fourth term by Connecticut Democrats Friday night, but his anti-war challenger garnered enough delegates to force a primary in August.Backers of Ned Lamont, a Greenwich businessman who has sharply criticized the moderate senator for his support of the war in Iraq, shouted with delight after learning their candidate will be the first to challenge Lieberman to a primary.

Lieberman won 1,004 of the 1,509 votes cast at the state convention, while Lamont won 505. Lamont captured 33 percent of the delegates, well more than the 15 percent he needed to force the primary.Sean Smith, Lieberman's campaign manager, downplayed Lamont's delegate support. He said Friday's vote showed that Democrats in Connecticut still back the veteran senator, despite his support of the war.

"I think we're moving into friendlier territory," Smith said of the Aug. 8 primary. "There are 600,000 Democrats who are going to be heard from before this is over."Lieberman worked Friday night to fend off Lamont's challenge, reminding convention delegates that he stands for more than his support for the war. He held a barbecue for delegates in the parking lot of the Connecticut Expo Center to smooth things over.Lieberman said he has called hundreds of delegates in recent weeks, talking about the environment, his support of the U.S. Submarine Base in Groton, education and other issues."I'm a proud Democrat and I'm going to carry the battle forward," said Lieberman, who had to leave the convention early to observe the Jewish sabbath.

Lamont said he believes the level of support he received at the convention will send a message to Washington that people are fed up with the war."They are saying this war was a mistake and bring the troops home," he said. "I think 33 percent of the people in the convention are telling people in Connecticut and Washington they want a change."Lamont is from an old-money Connecticut family with strong Wall Street ties. He founded his own telecommunications firm, Lamont Digital Systems, in 1984.Earlier this week, Lamont's campaign manager, Tom Swan, said Lamont's family fortune stands somewhere between $90 million and $300 million, according to a new financial disclosure report.Lieberman captured the bulk of the delegates in larger cities, such as Hartford and his hometown of New Haven. He lost to Lamont in small towns such as East Granby and Eastford. Lamont had particular success in eastern Connecticut.

The state Democratic convention was to continue Saturday, when delegates will be asked to endorse candidates for governor, attorney general, secretary of the state, treasurer and comptroller.There is a close battle between New Haven Mayor John DeStefano and Stamford Mayor Dan Malloy for the gubernatorial nod.Malloy campaign officials appeared more optimistic after learning their delegates in Hartford would not be challenged. There has been a local battle over whether the delegates - the bulk of whom support Malloy - were properly selected.The bitterness toward Lieberman and his support of the war was evident Friday night. About 60 peace activists protested outside the Expo Center. And some Lamont supporters loudly chanted "Go Home Joe" when U.S. Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., nominated Lieberman. Dodd acknowledged the discontent, saying he appreciates people who speak up about issues."Unlike the other party, we don't try to stifle those differences. We honor and respect them," Dodd said.Dodd, his voice hoarse, reminded Democrats of Lieberman's longtime dedication to Connecticut and his support of key issues such as the environment and working to protect the U.S. Submarine Base in Groton from the military's closure plans.

But Lamont supporters said they believe Lieberman has forgotten his roots."Lieberman has just deserted the causes that I think make the party strong," said delegate Rona Cohen of New Britain.Max Medina, a Bridgeport attorney who helped persuade Lamont to run for the Senate, said voting against Lieberman would send a message to the country."Our fight for a more just and humane America begins tonight, with you and me. In this place, at this time, you and I have the power to send a message to America, including George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld," he said.Before the convention, Lieberman said he believes Lamont will hurt other party hopefuls if he continues his battle for the Senate seat."I think it's going to be harmful of our party and the chances of our congressional candidates, our Democratic challengers and our gubernatorial candidates," he said. "But it's his decision."Lamont said there was no reason to pull out of the race."Everywhere I go, no one is saying, 'Oh my God, you're hurting the party,"' he said.State Rep. Tim O'Brien, D-New Britain, a Lamont supporter, said he believes the Democratic primary is fueling interest in all Democratic candidates this election season."This is a race about the heart and soul of the party," he said.

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Saturday, May 20, 2006

On Trial

JusticeDefense Attorney: What is your age?

Little old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you on April 1st this year?

Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my porch on a warm Spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said to him, "Take me, young man, take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!"

And...that's when I shot the little bastard!

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Wild child



I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court.
I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
The old man kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

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Friday, May 19, 2006

Bunny Treat

Why they don't have "College Student Days" at Warner Brothers Studios. . .

Is this a "carrot and stick" sorta moment?

Can you find the hare in this picture?

And finally, you KNEW it was coming. . ."What's Up, Doc"?

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The Budweiser Girls

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Terrorist Test


Do your part to fight terrorism

God bless America! We all know that it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.

So next Sunday at 4:00 PM Eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this antiterrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.

And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your antiterrorist sentiment.

The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti terrorist activity.

God bless America and GOD BLESS AMERICAN WOMEN!

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Bad Day

And you thought you were having a bad day

ScubaFire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries.

Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

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Dave Barry

14 Things That It Took Me 50 Years To Learn by Dave Barry

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
3. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment .

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Differences

Women Speak in Estrogen - Men Listen in Testosterone

MATURITY

Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.

Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

BATHROOMS

A man has 6 items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES

A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.

A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items- or-fewer lane.

SHOES

When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.

A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

GOING OUT

When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out.

When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earrings, finishes putting on her makeup...

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dental appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.

DAVID LETTERMAN

Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth.

Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.

LAUNDRY

Women do laundry every couple of days.

A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

WEDDINGS

When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony".

Men talk about "the bachelor party".

SOCKS

Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks.

Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that have pictures of clouds, or have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

NICKNAMES

If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle.

But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT

... and when the check comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in a $20 bill, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

MIRRORS

Men are vain; they will check themselves out in a mirror.

Women are ridiculous. They will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, Joe Garagiola's head.

MENOPAUSE

When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual.

Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction -- he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

TELEPHONE

Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.

A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

ADMITTING MISTAKES

Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.

The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.

RICHARD GERE

Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.

Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

MADONNA

Same as above, but reversed. Same reason.

CAMERAS

Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes.

Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.

GARAGES

Women use garages to park their cars and store their lawnmowers.

Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, they watch TV in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.

MOVIES

Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man.

The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.

JEWELRY

Women look nice when they wear jewelry.

A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

TIME

When a woman says she'll be ready to go out in five more minutes, she's using the same meaning of time as when a man says the football game's just got five minutes left. Neither of them is counting time outs, commercials, or replays.

CONVERSATION

Men need a good disagreement to get talking, e.g., "Wow, great movie" -- "What, are you, nuts? No REAL cop would have an Uzi that size" -- "Well, maybe he got it because he knew about those Mafia guys," etc.

Women, not having this problem, try to initiate conversations with men by saying something agreeable "That garden by the roadside looks lovely." "Mmhmm." Pause. "That was a good restaurant last night, wasn't it?" "Yeah." Pause. And so on.

FRIENDS

Women on a girls' night out talk the whole time.

Men on a boys' night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are "Pass the Doritos" or "Got any more beer?"

RESTROOMS

Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons.

Women use restrooms as social lounges.

Men in a restrooms will never speak a word to each other.

Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends.



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Clean EDGE Act of 2006

From U.S. Senator Maria Cantwell (WA)

Dear John,

For six years the Republican leadership has pushed one energy policy - drill more. As a result, our nation faces an energy crisis. Yet, Republicans have no solutions to the problem, and no desire to change.
Yesterday I introduced the Clean EDGE Act of 2006, a bold new strategy for energy independence. Senate Democrats are joining together to support my plan to reduce our dependence on foreign oil by 40 percent by 2020 - saving 6 billion barrels of oil a day.
But to get there, we cannot afford to wait another day.
Today is the day we can make a real change, and make energy independence possible.
Be a citizen co-sponsor of this important bill.
This bill is a significant change in the way we think about America's energy use. It also represents a dramatic change from the way that Republicans have approached energy issues.
It is my opening bid to move America forward on one of the greatest economic, national security and environmental challenges we have faced in my generation. We need to make America energy independent and we need to do it today - tomorrow is too late. Maintaining the status quo is not an option.
Our plan for real energy independence has five main pillars:
We must lessen our dependence on fossil fuels and take steps to curb greenhouse gas emissions. Expanding our use of renewable resources and supporting research will let us develop cutting-edge technologies that will reduce oil consumption, improve electricity efficiency and reliability, and reduce greenhouse gas emissions.
We must increase our use of alternative fuels and alternative fuel vehicles. Accelerating our use of flex fuel technology in American vehicles will give consumers options and promote real competition at the fuel pump. But to provide real access to alternative fuels, we need to invest in our infrastructure and make sure that there are convenient pumps across the country. These investments enable us to have an increasing number of new vehicles sold in America running on alternative fuels - starting with 25 percent in 2010. The end result for consumers will be better efficiencies, lower costs and a cleaner environment.
We must protect American consumers and businesses from unreasonable energy prices. With real teeth behind laws to prevent gasoline price-gouging and energy market manipulation we can give consumers the confidence that the prices they pay at the pump are real market prices. Big oil companies shouldn't be allowed to artificially alter prices to increase their profits on the backs of America's families, farmers and businesses.
We must level the playing field for clean energy technologies. We must end the giveaways to big oil companies and make sure they pay their fair share in royalties owed to American taxpayers. That money should be used to improve our nation's energy options - supporting research into new fuels, new efficiencies and new technologies to address our dependence on oil and move America toward energy independence.
We must make sure that the federal government leads by example. As the single largest energy consumer in America, the federal government can reduce its oil consumption by 20 percent in five years and 40 percent by 2020 by using new energy technologies - making an enormous difference right away in our nation's energy usage.
Now is the time, our chance for real energy independence. Sign as a citizen co-sponsor of the Clean EDGE Act of 2006.
Be a citizen co-sponsor of this important bill.
Our goal of reducing dependence on foreign oil by 40 percent by 2020 would save 6 billion barrels of oil a day. A goal that size requires a lot of work. But we can accomplish great things when we are committed to change, just as we did with the Apollo Project. It takes leadership that we haven't seen so far, it takes resolve by all of those in a position to effect change, and it takes the shared commitment of Americans across the country to hold us accountable.
Groundbreaking legislation like the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act happen when the American public says "Enough." 20 million Americans took to the streets in 1970 to show their support for American investment in a cleaner more sustainable future for our nation. Their actions, not those of any politician, pushed environmental issues into America's consciousness and political agenda.
We need just such a statement from you today. Together, we can bread new ground - and seize this opportunity to make America more competitive, more innovative, and more secure.
Join me now.
Thank you,
Maria Cantwell

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

We Interrupt your scheduled programming. . .

Okay. . .Comcast has apparently has a local meltdown tonight, so I apologize for the lack of new content this evening. I'm sure all will be well tomorrow. And, by the way, after blogging all evening on dial-up. . . .DIAL-UP SUCKS!!

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Late Night Bush

Ya gotta love these guys:

Jay Leno: “NBC aired their last episode of ‘The West Wing.’ ‘The West Wing is over. Yeah, last night. Well, we're not worried. See, we have another show I think is much closer to the real president. ‘My Name is Earl.’”

David Letterman: “Last night was the season finale of ‘West Wing.’ It’s gone, did you realize that, that's it for ‘West Wing,’ and ABC has cancelled ‘Commander in Chief,’ so now the only fictional president is Bush.”

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Quote For the Day

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look
at the people he gave it to."
---Dorothy Parker

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Yer Kidding Me, Right?

I just read a report by Coff, over at Excape at it's Finest, that is absolutely unbeleivable! A town in Missouri has actually made it ILLEGAL for unmarried couples to live together!! This is a total real-life WTF moment! Read Coff's report for yourself.

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Synthetic Pot Ok'd For Sale

Seventeen years after it was withdrawn from U.S. markets, a synthetic version of the active ingredient in marijuana is going back on sale as a prescription treatment for the vomiting and nausea that often accompanies chemotherapy, its manufacturer said Tuesday.

Valeant Pharmaceuticals International hopes to begin selling Cesamet (Sensamilla?) in the next two to three weeks, company president Wes Wheeler said.

The Costa Mesa, Calif. company received Food and Drug Administration approval Monday to resume sales of the drug, which it bought from Eli Lilly and Co. in 2004. Valeant currently sells the drug, also called nabilone, in Canada (A "run for the border" no longer needed, Canada OR Mexico!).

Lilly originally received FDA approval for nabilone in 1985 but withdrew it from the market in 1989 for commercial reasons, Wheeler said. Valeant, since purchasing the drug, has revised its label and updated its manufacturing process, he added (NOW 100% stronger for your enjo. . er pain relief!).

The drug will compete with Marinol, made by Belgium-based Solvay SA. Marinol, another synthetic version of tetrahydrocannabinol, the active ingredient in marijuana that's more commonly known as THC. It also received FDA approval in 1985 (They approved THC in 1985? WOOHOO!).

Synthetic THC acts on the brain like the THC in smoked marijuana, but eliminates having to inhale the otherwise harmful smoke contained in the illegal drug, Valeant said (So. .you don't have to risk lung cancer to get high, but you have to HAVE cancer to get high legally? Got it.).

Cesamet is a Schedule II drug, meaning it has a high potential for abuse (No shit??). The 1-milligram tablets are meant to be taken twice daily before cancer patients undergo chemotherapy and up to 48 hours following treatment (No word yet on the street value for these tabs). Side effects include euphoria, drowsiness, vertigo and dry mouth (In other words, it gets you HIGH!).

The FDA last month said it does not support the use of marijuana for medical purposes (But they JUST APPROVED IT).

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Al in '08???

Al Gore is running to California, New York, Utah, Washington, France and points in between to promote "An Inconvenient Truth," a film chronicling his elaborate slide shows to educate people about global warming.

But is the former vice president running for president again?

The answer, he says, is no. Some Democrats are not so sure.

"I'm a recovering politician on about Step 9," Gore told The Associated Press. "But I'm on a different kind of campaign now — to persuade people to take action to solve the climate crisis, and it's always easier when you're focused on one thing."

For most of his adult life, Gore was focused on the presidency. He ran unsuccessfully for the Democratic nomination in 1988 and served as vice president under President Clinton from 1993-2001. He narrowly lost the 2000 presidential campaign to George W. Bush, despite collecting more popular votes than the Texas Republican.

He's a richer man for his loss — literally. Gore is a senior adviser to Google Inc., a member of the Apple Computer Inc., board and co-founder and chairman of an investment firm.

Gore is a longtime opponent of the Iraq war, which makes him a favorite of liberal Internet-savvy Democrats who dominate the party's emerging "netroots." And with his advocacy of climate change awareness, Gore is the leading voice on an issue that Republicans and Democrats alike say is gaining prominence among voters.

It's an issue that inspires passion in Gore, something his fellow Democrats say he lacked in 2000.

"If he's the guy we see today, I think he'd be formidable," said Joe Trippi, a Democratic consultant who helped run Howard Dean's Internet-fueled presidential campaign in 2004.

"I think the real danger is if he were to run as an independent. If he did that, he would wreak havoc on the race in 2008," Trippi said. "He could say, 'I've been out of the system and we have to do it in a different way. I want to lead the way.'"

Kathleen Sullivan, chair of the New Hampshire Democratic Party, said Gore looks better each day Bush is president.

"For some people, it took six years of George Bush to wake up and realize that Al Gore was the real deal," Sullivan said.

Privately, senior Democrats put long odds on Gore running and winning the Democratic nomination.


Speculation about his future heightened last weekend when Gore opened NBC's "Saturday Night Live" with a skit in which he pretended to be the president of the United States looking back on six years of accomplishments.

No global warming. No war in Iraq. No budget deficits. And gasoline at 19 cents a gallon. The nation's big crisis under a President Gore: "Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack," he joked.


His focus, Gore said, is on global warming rather than the presidency.

"If I can use the experience I gained from the years I spent in public service to better communicate that message, I'm going to do my best to accomplish that and just hope I can reach people to the best of my ability," he said.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

That'S now Press Secretary (Kudos to Robert)

As reported by Craig over at Reverent and Free (Nice catch, man!)

"When I heard Tony Snow use the term "tar baby" while responding to a question in his first televised Press conference today, it actually startled me. Doesn't Tony understand what that phrase means to many people in this country?"

Read the full story with video footage HERE on Crooks and Liars.

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The Spies Who Shag Us

From a column by Greg Palast (Read the full story HERE)


The leader in the field of what is called "data mining," is a company called, "ChoicePoint, Inc," which has sucked up over a billion dollars in national security contracts.

Worried about Dick Cheney listening in Sunday on your call to Mom? That ain't nothing. You should be more concerned that they are linking this info to your medical records, your bill purchases and your entire personal profile including, not incidentally, your voting registration. Five years ago, I discovered that ChoicePoint had already gathered 16 billion data files on Americans -- and I know they've expanded their ops at an explosive rate.

They are paid to keep an eye on you -- because the FBI can't. For the government to collect this stuff is against the law unless you're suspected of a crime. (The law in question is the Constitution.) But ChoicePoint can collect it for "commercial" purchases -- and under the Bush Administration's suspect reading of the Patriot Act -- our domestic spying apparatchiks can then BUY the info from ChoicePoint.

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Monday, May 15, 2006

Mad Magazine - Bush vs Christ

Robert over at Left of Centrist found this brilliant piece, and I just had to grab it and share it with the rest of you. It's hilarious, yet so true to Karl Rove's real-life work that it will make you gulp.

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Satisfaction

How To Satisfy A Woman Every Time
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, puree, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again..

How To Satisfy A Man Every Time
Show up naked.

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Sunday, May 14, 2006

New Additions






Please welcome the latest additions to our blogroll here at Left in Aboite:

American Agenda!
Glenda in the Land of Oz!

Gary and Glenda are quite possibly even angrier at BushCo than I am; You're sure to enjoy their perspectives . Click their banners (above) or my ever-growing blogroll (Always to your left) to check out their work. Enjoy!

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