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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Why Men are Happier....

Men Are Just Happier People. . .What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

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Blogger Stan Matuska said...

Men may be happier, but women can have what men really want, and can have it any time they want, with whomever they want. Not really a fair trade-off in my mind.

title="comment permalink">January 24, 2008 7:37 AM  
Blogger Mary Ellen said...

Women have had men figured out since the beginning of time. They will always do what women tell them to do even if it gets them kicked out of Eden. Idiots. ;-)

title="comment permalink">January 24, 2008 6:09 PM  
Blogger betmo said...

john- i thought i asked you not to talk to my husband :)

title="comment permalink">January 24, 2008 6:15 PM  
Blogger Parson said...

So remind me again, why I should vote for Hillary?

title="comment permalink">January 24, 2008 7:18 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

Stan - Are we discussing hot girl on girl action here, or did I misread your comment?

Mary Ellen - What was it you desired, princess? I mean. . .DAMN it!

Betmo - It's all a part of the secret soc. . .err. . .I mean, How's it going?

Parson - Single grasshopper, you have no excuse!

title="comment permalink">January 24, 2008 11:26 PM  
Blogger Human said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

title="comment permalink">January 25, 2008 11:16 AM  
Blogger Human said...

I read a headline this morning that said couples who fight have longer relationships. So before my wife went off to work we took turns punching each other in the face.

title="comment permalink">January 25, 2008 11:18 AM  
Blogger Blueberry said...

Men: can buy a swimsuit from a catalog simply by ordering a certain size... and it fits.
Women: AAAACK!

title="comment permalink">January 25, 2008 4:11 PM  

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