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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Darth's surpise PSA visit

Darth Cheney paid a surprise trip to Baghdad today to deliver a tough message to the Iraqi government – "Get busy on signing the profit-sharing agreements we discussed! As soon as those are signed, you can take a permanent vacation for all that I care!"

The dark lord has been livid since discovering that Iraq’s fledgling parliament was planning to take a two-month summer recess, postponing work on a bill designed to steal Iraq's oil reserves while further enriching foreign oil companies, and leaving nothing but a sore and greasy situation for the nation and it's citizens.

"Look here, al Maliki, I've got Democrats in the woodwork at home, a 9% personal approval rating, and an American public that's ready to hang me from the nearest oil derrick. And you guys just voted to throw us all out of here as well!"

"Give me what I want and we'll go away" snarled Cheney after ordering staff to kick the press out of the room.

The new American ambassador to Baghdad, Ryan Crocker, nervously told reporters that the vice president merely wanted some "alone time" to share some music with his Iraqi friend and convey American displeasure over the planned vacation. Here's a swiped security cam video of that meeting:

al Maliki's only comment after the rendezvous was that he had been offered a deal that he could not refuse, and was suffering from an earache.

Cheney was supposed to be in Abu Dhabi today for a photo op, according to his public schedule. Reporters had pressed Cheney staffers for days about whether he would go to Iraq on the current trip. The staffers never denied it outright, but didn’t tell the reporters accompanying Cheney until after Air Force Two had lifted off from Andrews Air Force Base. No reports as of yet of fare discounts for the unannounced detour, but the International Reporters Against Cheney group is considering action against the vice president. . .

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Blogger Peacechick Mary said...

We were talking about what it would be like to have Cheney come to our house and insist we do his bidding. We can't even imagine having a conversation with this evil Cheney.

title="comment permalink">May 09, 2007 9:46 PM  
Blogger Peacechick Mary said...

I don't know what's going on with your comments, but they don't want to take. Dunno?

title="comment permalink">May 09, 2007 9:47 PM  
Blogger Parson said...

I bet your conversation with Cheney would go something like this,
"Your lack of faith disturbs me" followed by choking and gasping for breath.

title="comment permalink">May 09, 2007 10:20 PM  
Blogger Parson said...

Oh yeah, I loved the Reservoir Dogs clip. One of the greatest movies ever made!

title="comment permalink">May 09, 2007 10:24 PM  
Blogger Anon-Paranoid said...

Did you see him get off the plane wearing a flak jacket? If they wanted to go after him they would probably use an IED or a shot to the head.

No protection there or any brains. Though I doubt it would make any difference as evil as he is. You can't take a dead man out when he's already dead, can you?

God Bless.

title="comment permalink">May 10, 2007 5:38 AM  
Blogger Undeniable Liberal said...

No vacation until you hand over control of the oil to me. Now get me another scotch!

title="comment permalink">May 10, 2007 7:03 AM  
Blogger Sewmouse said...

Seems to be an epidemic of walking dead lately. Of course Dick Clark and Keith Richards started it...

BTW - I need new bifocals. I read that as "they would probably use an IUD or a shot to the head"

title="comment permalink">May 10, 2007 10:35 AM  
Blogger Human said...

Why all the secrecy? Gee I thought going to Baggers was like taking a stroll through an Indiana Farmer's Market.


title="comment permalink">May 10, 2007 11:52 AM  
Blogger JM said...

The picture looks like Cheney is being attacked by bees...we should be so lucky!

title="comment permalink">May 10, 2007 12:11 PM  
Blogger Hill said...


Perfection, Good Man. Oh, and Reservoir Dogs? Love it!!

title="comment permalink">May 10, 2007 7:38 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

Mary - Just you so far, unless someone's not speaking up. Anyone? ? Bueller? ?

Parson - As long as it's not followed by a "Han Solo". . .

Anon - You're forgetting that he's actually a vampire; of course he'll protect his chest. . .

Undeniable - Cheney doesn't drink scotch. . it makes him too mean. .

Sew - Death by IUD? Isn't that the purpose? ;)

Human - Only if you're wearing John McCain's Reality Shades(TM).

Jim - He has an even lower approval rating amongst bees than he does with us.

Hill - Thank you! I was feeling a bit snarky last night. . .(trying to get the feeling again. . .)

title="comment permalink">May 10, 2007 8:15 PM  

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