Darth's surpise PSA visit

Darth Cheney paid a surprise trip to Baghdad today to deliver a tough message to the Iraqi government – "Get busy on signing the profit-sharing agreements we discussed! As soon as those are signed, you can take a permanent vacation for all that I care!"

The dark lord has been livid since discovering that Iraq’s fledgling parliament was planning to take a two-month summer recess, postponing work on a bill designed to steal Iraq's oil reserves while further enriching foreign oil companies, and leaving nothing but a sore and greasy situation for the nation and it's citizens.

"Look here, al Maliki, I've got Democrats in the woodwork at home, a 9% personal approval rating, and an American public that's ready to hang me from the nearest oil derrick. And you guys just voted to throw us all out of here as well!"

"Give me what I want and we'll go away" snarled Cheney after ordering staff to kick the press out of the room.

The new American ambassador to Baghdad, Ryan Crocker, nervously told reporters that the vice president merely wanted some "alone time" to share some music with his Iraqi friend and convey American displeasure over the planned vacation. Here's a swiped security cam video of that meeting:



al Maliki's only comment after the rendezvous was that he had been offered a deal that he could not refuse, and was suffering from an earache.


Cheney was supposed to be in Abu Dhabi today for a photo op, according to his public schedule. Reporters had pressed Cheney staffers for days about whether he would go to Iraq on the current trip. The staffers never denied it outright, but didn’t tell the reporters accompanying Cheney until after Air Force Two had lifted off from Andrews Air Force Base. No reports as of yet of fare discounts for the unannounced detour, but the International Reporters Against Cheney group is considering action against the vice president. . .