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Monday, May 07, 2007

Greetings

Hallmark cards you'll never see:

OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
INSIDE: That you're not here to ruin it for me.

OUTSIDE: If I get only one thing for Christmas...
INSIDE: I hope it's your sister.

OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone
to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.

OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in hell 'til I met you.

OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
INSIDE: What the f**k was I thinking?

OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful and well-respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.

OUTSIDE: Sex with you is like using drugs:
INSIDE: Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to
admit it.

OUTSIDE: When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
INSIDE: Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept
your promise.
_
OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm
taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating
bastard!

OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you...
INSIDE: It's almost like you're here.

OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: Buy a dog.

OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?

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3 Comments:

Blogger Marked Hoosier said...

I would say the writer was "bitter" for some reason...

title="comment permalink">May 07, 2007 7:33 AM  
Blogger John Good said...

Sorry Mark, I needed the money at the time. . . ;)

title="comment permalink">May 07, 2007 7:28 PM  
Blogger Hill said...

I was gonna make a comment that these cards would sell like hotcakes, then I read the comments. OK. Out with it. Where can I get one of these fab cards and Good Man, these are your creations? Fantabulous!!!!!

title="comment permalink">May 07, 2007 8:41 PM  

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