To Catch a Thief

I was thinking about adding a pet door into our garage for our cat. I'm no longer thinking that way after viewing this:

Update on Hobbes

I wanted to post an update for those who have been inquiring about Hobbes. His condition improved each day this week, but we scheduled him with the vet today just to be on the safe side.

The prognosis: he's going to be just fine. No infections, but he does have a fractured jaw. The vet informed me that, in this case, it was no cause for concern as he greedily ate from the can of food he was offered!

Sometimes the fracture is bad enough of a certain type that the animal can't properly move the jaw or only do so with pain. We'll keep him on soft food for a week or so and monitor his transition back. He also had a case of ear mites, which they treated. And he was slightly dehydrated. The doctor gave him a subcutaneous fluids injection to hedge the bet. Hobbes was a trooper throughout, and the doc said his heart and lungs sounded great from what he could hear through all of the purring! The only time he struggled was when his temperature was taken, understandably. Turns out cats don't enjoy anal probes, either!!

Our Cat - astrophy

This is Hobbes. We "adopted" him and his sister Sassy last summer (This photo is from last August). Although I've always experienced bad karma when it comes to male cats, this one has been possibly the most loving feline that I've ever owned. He jumps in your lap to reach up and bump noses with you; he'll follow me down the stairs side by side in complete sync, stopping if I stop and moving once more when I do, like an extra appendage.

That all being what it was, I had to make a tough call several weeks ago. Long story short, we also took in two other female cats last summer, haven't had the time or spare funds to spay or neuter anyone, and Hobbes was beginning to get amorous. So I decided to separate him from "the harem" by having him be at least a temporary "outside cat". We let him roam during the day, which he naturally took to, and the kids fixed him a bed in the garage to return to at night. This was working well for all, with the possible exception of the local squirrel population (Hobbes not only chased them, but followed them up the trees!), until this weekend.

When I called him Saturday night, I got no response from this cat who would always come running when I uttered his name. I tried several times before retiring for the night, to no avail. I left the garage door open the next morning, as I generally do when we are home, but no sign of him. Finally, in the late afternoon, I walked out into the garage and saw an unfamiliar cat laying behind my wife's truck. It took me a minute to realize that it was Hobbes - he was unrecognizable from the view I had, which was of his face and head. . .now swollen and unfamiliar.

He couldn't open either eye, his breathing would have made Darth Vader feel right at home, and I'm still not sure if part of his lip is missing or just terribly injured. His eyes are both open, the swelling has gone down and his breathing is more normal now. He's resting as comfortably as can be expected under the circumstances on his favorite sleeping spot, an ultra-soft blankie belonging to our kids.

I'll probably never know who or what he tangled with unless I learn to talk to the animals Dr.Doolittle style. Was it a dog? A cat? A tough squirrel? A close encounter with a sedan? It doesn't really matter. . .but this is one tomcat who's lost his roaming privvies, no matter what. Anybody looking for a new kitten in the near future?

Animal medication tips

How To Give A Cat A Pill:

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right fore-finger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill In right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, Drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill.Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the Emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill:

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

My Cats Roasting by an Open Fire

Mary Ellen was discussing her "firewood troubles" today, which reminded me of these pictures. I believe that I showed great restraint in not adding "hot pussy" to the labels/tags!

Our oldest "kittens" have found a new favorite spot to hang out. Sassy and Hobbes were born in May of this year, so the fireplace is a brand new experience for them. When not hanging out on the hearth, Sassy can normally be found sleeping on the nearest floor register, while Hobbes maintains a close watch on the food bowl - as you can tell, he's simply wasting away! Can cats be morbidly obese? ?