Happy Birthday, Samantha!

My oldest daughter Samantha, seen  here getting an early start on her future blogging hobby, will become nine years old shortly after noon on Monday. I cannot beleive the impact that she's had upon my life; nor can I imagine a world without her in it. 

There's nothing I wouldn't endure for her. I quit a 24 year two-pack-a-day cigarette habit for her second birthday! I only hope that I serve her well in my guidance for her future. Happy Birthday, Sam! Daddy loves you more than anything!

A Heart for Dad

We had some issues with our younger daughter this weekend involving her computer usage and some inappropriate language she had picked up from YouTube. Sabrina has always favored her mother, despite my efforts to reach her. She was understandably miffed tonight after I removed her "favorites" from her computer (including the offensive content) and blocked her access to YouTube and several other sites.

Despite that, I performed some sorely needed maintenance on her computer and played games with her this evening. A few hours ago, I walked into the kid's playroom and saw some drawings that Sabrina quickly tried to hide from me. She'd drawn several pictures expressing her love for all family members, with the glaring exception of me, even adding me to one as crocodile fodder. I dispatched her to bed at this point, and sulked a bit.

Later, when I told her older sister that it was time to turn in, she hugged me, said "I love you, daddy" and told me that she had made the following artwork just for me. I'm a little bit teary as I type this:

Kids on Science

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop:

* One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

* You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it you got hit, so never mind.

* Talc is found on rocks and on babies.

* The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

* When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms, But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

* When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

* Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

* While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

* Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.

* South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.

* Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

* Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

* A vibration is a motion that can’t make up its mind which way it wants to go.

* There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

* There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.

* Lime is a green-tasting rock.

* Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

* Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should.

* Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.

* Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother.

* Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

* We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

* To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

* In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H’s as O’s.

* Clouds are high flying fogs.

* I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

* Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

* Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

* Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water. We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won’t drown when we breathe.

* Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.

* Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

* In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog’s tongue will kill the strongest man.

* A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

* A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.

* A monsoon is a French gentleman.

* Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

* Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

* It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.

* The wind is like the air, only pushier.

The 7 Year Old's Perspective on Beer

A handful of 7 year old children were asked ‘What they thought of beer’. Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.


‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.’
–Tim, 7 years old

‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. ‘
–Mellanie, 7 years old


‘My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.’
–Grady, 7 years old


‘My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.’
–Toby, 7 years old

’My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.
–Sarah, 7 years old

‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.’
–Lilly, 7 years old

‘I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.’
–Ethan, 7 years old

‘I give Dad’s beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.’
–Shirley, 7 years old

‘My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’
–Jack, 7 years old

Little girl speaks for all of us

Check out this video of a little girl crying and running away from George W. Bush at the White House T-ball game:

Class project gone wrong

An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents.

They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants.

The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze.

The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process.

It was great fun!

They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home.

The cactus plants were removed and small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home instead.

The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time!