On this date. . .

I'm 17 in the photo below (May 1982):

I lost my Mom on August 22, 2001. Other events in my life feel like satellites orbiting around that day.

- I started my own small business eleven months before.

- I had turned 37 exactly two months before.

- My sister and I have been estranged since Mom's passing. I hold her somewhat responsible.

- 19 days after her death I slipped and fell, requiring stitches for the first time in my adult life.

- The next morning, the World Trade Center was attacked and destroyed. I took comfort in the fact that Mom had missed that.

- My youngest daughter was born 26 days after that event.

- On February 10th of the following year (2002) I kicked a 24-year addiction to cigarettes. Motivation: I didn't want my kids to lose me in THEIR thirties.

- Almost exactly three years later (02-09-05) we moved into our new home in Aboite. We still own our old house (Mom's place) today.

I'm lucky to have had such a wonderful mother. I always think about her on this date. Although time has lessened the pain, there is still irreparable damage and a hole in my soul. Fortunately I have my wife and kids to hang onto. I miss you, Mom. I couldn't have wished for a better mother. . .

Happy Mother's Day

This is a picture of Mom and I in the family room of our home in southeast Ft.Wayne in 1982. I was 18 - Mom was 58. Had I known that she'd be gone from my life before I turned 40, I'd have been holding her much closer in this photo.

Like most of us, I put her through hell, especially in my teen years. But, as it is with moms, she was always there to love me unconditionally and defend me even when there was no possible defense for my actions. I can imagine no worse fate than to never have had a mom in your life, even if for a woefully short time. Many will try, but no one will ever achieve that same bond that a mother shares with her kids.

Mom got to spend a decade with my wife, Jody, before she left us. And she was extremely pleased with my bride. She confided to her that she was at ease with leaving me to this world because she was confident in Jody's love and devotion to me. Her love was unselfish to the very end. I love her and miss her every day, but take solace in the fact that Jody is the new mother in my world. Mom would have loved sharing with her as our girls grow up. She got to know Samantha for her first year and a half, and struggled to hang on to her life long enough to meet Sabrina. She missed that last goal by six weeks.

I miss her, but feel lucky to have had her in my life for the time that I did. Many others in this world have been less fortunate than I in that respect.

A Personal Note

On this important date in my life, my mother was born in 1924. Although her parents were told that she would never see her 18th birthday, she persisted in living until August 22, 2001. Mom endured and fought back against leukemia her entire life. She suffered through a lifetime of treatments, pills, transfusions, and my teenage years in defiance of her diagnosis. On the date of my arrival into this world, she was 40 years old. Having two daughters of my own, I cannot fathom her state of mind in adding a new son at that age! Luckily for me, she was a strong woman.

She always claimed that we had a severe winter storm every year on her birthday, and. . . .here we are. It's normally an ice storm, but perhaps Mom's taking it easy on me this year. It would be her way to ease the road ahead for me and to defend me to the very end. There is no greater truth, at least in my experience, that a mother's love is unconditional. You might call her a "doting mother", or "over-protective"; I called her "Mom".

And I miss her. The above picture is Mom shepherding me along to my first day of school at Lafayette Elementary School. In 2005, my wife snapped a picture of our oldest daughter in the same scenario, a mere few miles from this locale and in the same old school district. Samantha was 18 months old when she lost her grandma - she doesn't remember her. But she still takes a present from her to bed with her every night.

Mom had purchased a Thumbelina Doll for Sam as a Christmas present the year that she died. It has served as a bond between Mom, Sam, and I ever since. Good night Mom. We miss you. . .