Keep Your Eye on the Sparrow!

It seems that George Bush was correct all along with his warnings about "fighting them over there or fighting them here". Midway through a Rose Garden news conference yesterday, Al Quaida bombed the president via sparrow! Precisely between the president's 10th and 11th reference to Al Quaida, the bird flew over the president and deposited a wet, white dropping on the upper left sleeve of his jacket. Bush wiped the mess off with his bare hand.

Although no clear evidence has been presented that Osama Bin Laden was behind the attack,just about everything else that came up during the hour-long news conference was traced to Bin Laden's terrorist network. Then again, with all of the bullshit spewing from the president's mouth, the sparrow may have merely honestly mistaken him for a waste repository. Video HERE.

Here are a few highlights of the fertilizer that emerged from the president's mouth at that conference:

- To NBC's David Gregory: "They (Al Quaida) are a threat to your children, David".

- "It's a danger to your children, Jim," Bush informed the New York Times' Jim Rutenberg. This last warning was perplexing, because Rutenberg has no children, only a brown chow chow named Little Bear. It was unclear whether Bush was referring to a specific and credible threat to Little Bear or merely indicating there was increased "chatter in the system" about chow chows in general.


- Rutenberg to Bush (regarding Bin Laden) "Mr. President, why is he still at large?"

"Why is he at large?" Bush shot back. "Because we haven't got him yet, Jim."

I think that settles it. Not an actual terrorist attack; merely a rightfully confused sparrow hitting an improbably pertinent target. I imagine that the Rose Garden has bloomed extraordinarily well after this president's deposits in it. . .