Empty Seats in Minneapolis

As I looked at the photos from today's Republican National Convention, something seemed out of place to me. There appeared to be something in these pictures that I hadn't seen in similar shots taken in Denver last week. It took me a few seconds, but then I nailed it - EMPTY SEATS. At our party in Denver, every seat was filled; every spot on the floor was taken as if The Who were performing in 1979; Thousands of people crowded the grounds outside even though they KNEW they couldn't get inside. Cue these sad, sad pics from Minnesota:

If you've ever had one of those "mother/daughter" sexual fantasies. . .this one will "bring you down" for several years. Urk!

Perhaps the empty seats belong to the delegates who were busy visiting the Larry Craig Memorial Shrine nearby:



Maybe they were engaged in extra-curricular activities, or focused on more important news of the moment.

Perhaps they were reading private e-mail, aka Bush Admin Style. Or maybe they were just checking out the local sports scores while enjoying a Heath bar:



Whatever they were doing, and to who, they left empty seats that several thousand Barack Obama supporters would have gladly filled if the same circumstances had occurred in Colorado last week.

Speculation has been that Palin may withdraw her nomination. Further speculation is that McGrampy may withdraw his as well; or have it taken away. Pictures are worth a thousand words. . .

And "W" gave another big hug kiss of death to John boy tonight.

Family values, my ass. Bend over and take it like "everything you preach against, yet secretly enjoy" you hypocrites. Just keep you stance inside your own stall; I'm busy crapping all over your parade in mine.

RNC - Putting The "Labor" Back Into Labor Day

A new promotional video for the Republican National Convention, which may begin on Labor Day, or not. Depends upon enthusiasm levels as well as acts of God:

Daily Show Welcomes GOP to Minneapolis

The Comedy Central show has erected a can’t-miss-it billboard off of I-494 that greets motorists leaving the MSP airport. Beneath a photo of the Daily Show crew is the salutation: “Welcome, rich white oligarchs.”

Get 'em while ya can!

During the Sunday, May 25 Minneapolis Saints game, the first 2,500 fans in attendance will receive a bobblefoot. The design is a bathroom stall, with a foot that peaks out of the bottom and "taps" up and down. The day coincides with National Tap Dance Day.

No word as of yet on whether or not having a "wide stance" will entitle you to an extra bobblefoot. Our sources for this story have all been "tapped out". . .

GOP Good for "Conventional Sex"

"Care to "cock us" big boy"?

Political tricks will likely not be the only ones turned during the Democratic National Convention in Denver this August.

The sex and adult entertainment industries are expecting a boom in business when an estimated 35,000 visitors descend on the Mile High City for the presidential nominating bash. At the Pepsi Center, the focus will be on a single nominee. But outside the event, the choices available to the delegates, journalists and others are unlimited, giving new meaning to the term "conventional sex."

Carol Leigh, a San Francisco prostitute "over 50" who has traveled to previous Democratic conventions in Los Angeles and Atlanta, wishes that Denver had hosted the GOP convention instead.

"It would be a lot better for the sex workers if it was the Republican convention," she said. "We get a lot more business. I don't know if they're just frustrated because of the family values agenda".

It would be a good fit for that group. Denver is, after all, home to Mike Jones, the beefy male prostitute who claimed to have bedded the Rev. Ted Haggard in his Capitol Hill apartment. Then again, Minneapolis does have it's airport restrooms. . .