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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Handy Conversions

~ Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

~ 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

~ 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

~ Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

~ Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

~ Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

~ 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

~ Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

~ 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz

~ Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

~ Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment)

~ 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

~ 1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone

~ 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

~ 365.25 days: 1 unicycle

~ 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds

~ 10 cards: 1 decacards

~ 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

~ 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

~ 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

~ 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

~ 10 rations: 1 decoration

~ 100 rations: 1 C-ration

~ 2 monograms: 1 diagram

~ 8 nickels: 2 paradigms

~ 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

~ 100 Senators: Not 1 decision

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3 Comments:

Blogger Vic DeMize said...

Now THAT'S funny!

title="comment permalink">March 19, 2008 11:10 AM  
Blogger Robert Rouse said...

Using this logic, wouldn't 2000 lbs of Bullshit be called a Clinton?

title="comment permalink">March 19, 2008 1:53 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

2000 pounds of BILLshit, methinks. .

title="comment permalink">March 19, 2008 8:34 PM  

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