Roberts' brain rejects his views
Chief Justice John Roberts suffered a seizure at his summer home in Maine on Monday, causing a fall that resulted in minor scrapes. Supreme Court spokeswoman Kathy Arberg stated that this was actually his second "episode" and was likely proof of his brain's rejection of conservatism.
He will remain in a hospital in Maine overnight. "It's my position that he's fully recovered, said Christopher Burke, a spokesman for the local Medical Center. "He suffered a similar incident in 1993. We thought he was merely channeling the Lord and speaking in tongues - OUR bad."
Experts have weighed in on this syndrome, CCD (Compassionate Conservative Disorder), calling it a serious threat to the well-being of right-wingers who deny their true feelings of compassion and tolerance.
"These individuals often wind up in the county jail, charged with heinous crimes" stated Professor Ron Joberts of Indiana University. "In other cases, they remain undetected and wind up being appointed to the Supreme Court by dry-drunks who commiserate with them. It's a vicious cycle of co-dependency that MUST be broken"!
Labels: neocons, supreme court
posted by John Good @ 12:26 AM
5 Comments:
Oddly enough, the disorder has spread all over the Cheney government, especially the Just-us department.
I wondered if Roberts finally cracked under the strain of having to deny Bush more unconstitutional privileges.
Forbes wrote that he was foaming at the mouth. Being a conservative, that must mean he's gonna be OK! I would have paid to see it though. Just the thought of being there and screaming "the rapture is coming" while he was down would have been a dream come true! That or just hollering "he got dat debil in 'em...get the pweest!"
Now that is entertainment!
Personally, I think he should spend the rest of his summer re-roofing his cottage. If he's gonna take a fall, let it be a doozy!
I still say Scalia has something to do with this..slipping him some drugs maybe?
Look, I don't want the man dead, but. ..hmm. .. it IS a lifetime appt. lol
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