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Thursday, December 21, 2006

Elf Pickup Lines

  • "Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful knees?"
  • "We don't see many happenin' ladies north of the Arctic Circle."
  • "That's quite a set of ornaments you've got there."
  • "Just because a guy wears tights doesn't mean he's gay."
  • "One night with me, baby, and you'll be sneezin' tinsel."
  • "Why, yes, I am George Stephanopoulos."
  • "I can't tell you how hard it is to be the only elf who's Jewish."
  • "Not everything about me is tiny."
  • "That's not Elmo, but don't stop tickling."
  • "I'm down here!"
  • "Just because I have bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy."
  • "I was once a lawn ornament for Brad Pitt."
  • "No, no, I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks at Keebler."
  • "You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig."
  • "I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners."
  • "I taught Santa everything he knows."
  • "I'm a magical being. Take off your bra."
  • "I'm free on Christmas Eve."
  • "Even Santa doesn't make candy as sweet as you."
  • "I've got the keys to the sleigh tonight."
  • "You know what they say about guys with big ears."
  • "I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man."
  • "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys."
  • "I can get you off the naughty list."

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Anonymous Anonymous said...


I like, I like a LOT.

title="comment permalink">December 21, 2006 8:34 PM  
Blogger Peacechick Mary said...

I don't think any of those lines would work, but they sure are funny - sneezing tinsel!

title="comment permalink">December 22, 2006 8:02 AM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

"One night with me, baby, and you'll be sneezin' tinsel."

LMAO! :-) :-)

How about: Take me to your ladder!

OK...ok...it was really for a space alien, but it works.

title="comment permalink">December 22, 2006 12:43 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

Mark - I just KNEW you'd love this one!

Mare - I'm laughing, yet sorta scared!

Kvatch - I LOVE it! Don't make 'em mad now; they'll "bite yer kneecaps"!

title="comment permalink">December 22, 2006 10:37 PM  

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