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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Translations

What she said… and what she meant:

"Fine" -- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

"Five Minutes" -- If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

"Nothing" -- This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

"Go Ahead" -- This is a dare, not permission. Proceed with extreme caution!

Loud Sigh -- Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

"That's OK" -- This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's OK" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

"Thanks" -- This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say "you're welcome" and back out of the room slowly.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Chuck said...

That is hilarious and exactly right. HA!HA! We really do live in a different reality. Our brain chemistry sees and processes things quite differently. That's just the way it is. :)

title="comment permalink">November 14, 2006 10:28 PM  
Blogger Stan Matuska said...

Very funny - and so true!!!
Here's one to add:

"Just so you know" -- There is an in-yer-face comment comming that not only requires no response... it demands it! You might get away with "Yes dear", but I wouldn't even go there. Just simply nod your head in acknowledgement, and utter Uh huh, so she knows damn well you heard her.

title="comment permalink">November 14, 2006 11:45 PM  
Blogger azgoddess said...

oh oh oh - you forgot

'what ever' - used when she wants you to shut up and leave the room...and forget what ever it was you wanted to make a point about...

smile

title="comment permalink">November 15, 2006 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL John!! I didn't think you guys knew about our secret language!

title="comment permalink">November 15, 2006 3:44 PM  
Blogger Sheri said...

Well, now they all know the rules and there are no excuses for not following them! LOL

title="comment permalink">November 17, 2006 10:30 AM  

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