Comic Roundup

"President Bush is putting together his presidential library, and apparently the library is going to cost $500 million, which works out to $100 million per book. Expensive books, they're popouts." - Conan O'Brien

"The Christmas tree was delivered to the White House yesterday. Just what we need at the White House, more dead wood." - David Letterman

"President Bush is preparing to build his presidential library. ... Bush's is expected to cost $500 million. That's more than three times the cost of the Clinton library, and more than all the other libraries combined, which makes you wonder, how many Garfield books can there be?" - Jimmy Kimmel

"The president's twin daughters are celebrating their 25th birthday with a trip to Argentina. Apparently their trip has caused what's known as chaos, to the point where, according to ABCNews.com, the American embassy and many Argentinian officials have strongly suggested the twins return to America. Just to repeat, Argentina, former safe-haven for Nazi war criminals, is drawing the line at the Bush twins." -Jon Stewart



"In the arguments, Justice Scalia said, 'I'm not a scientist, I don't want to deal with global warming.' I just wish he felt that way about presidential elections." - Former Vice President Al Gore, on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno