What's a Tree Hugger to Do?

As a progressive tree-hugging liberal filled with eco-system protectionist tendencies, it is expected that I must do my part to save our green spaces and protect our trees from harm at all costs. And, indeed, I have followed the classic model all of my life. In the neighborhood I grew up in, I watched as my neighbors, one by one, cut down the solitary trees planted in their front yards by the cookie-cutter developers who had plugged these trees into the very center of every single front yard of every single parcel that they had improved. I, on the other hand, planted more trees everywhere that I could squeeze one in on my small 1/3 acre lot.

Now, let me state right up front here, I don't believe that my former friends and neighbors had some "arbor-trary" hatred of trees. Lebrato Brothers, in their infinite wisdom heartless rush to fill their developed lots with mature trees as quickly as possible, planted sugar maples smack dab in the middle of each one. These trees DO grow rather quickly compared to many other varieties, and they are absolutely beautiful when the fall season comes around.

However they also have one tiny little drawback. One either missed by or discarded by the builder of my old neighborhood. . .they are aggressive in their search for water. To place this in the proper perspective for you, these aggressive seekers of water were planted in the very middle of residential lots where the sewer lines for these homes generally run. Can you guess what eventually happens? These sugar maples, in their quest to quench their thirst, wrap their roots around and into the sewer lines of the homes they are placed in front of.

This often leads to repeated calls for rooting out the sewer and eventual replacement of the sewer lines due to their destruction by the aggressive tree roots. The average cost for rooting out one's sewer lines to clear tree roots can range from $65 to nearly $200 depending on the severity of the problem. Sewer tile replacement incurs a much higher cost. So it's not surprising that many people opt for tree removal instead. The cost per incident are similar, yet non-reoccurring, as the source of the problem has been eliminated. Despite that, I kept my front maple tree. But, for my new additions, I stuck to ash and birch trees. . .about 12 trees in all.

Then. . .we moved to our new digs here in Aboite. And, let me tell you, it was a tree lover's paradise! We have over 120 trees on our lot - lots of hickory and old oak trees. They're beautiful and they keep the house well-shaded even during the hottest weather. Unfortunately though, they also keep my thus far feeble attempts at a nice lawn well shaded as well. And dry. I miss having a nice lawn! I've seeded the front lawn here three years in a row, and. . .it looks great for a month or two and then dies. Every single time. And I didn't even mention the ground dwelling bees that like to nest in the ground where grass is thin and sparse. . .and sting my ass every time I attempt to mow what little grass has actually survived against the lack of sunlight and rain water. But, heh. . .summer comes to an end eventually, and worries about the lawn disappear.

Because they are quickly replaced by two other concerns: leaves and nuts! I've never seen so many damned leaves in my life as what we have here! The first year we were able to burn them as we weren't yet in the city. But that still meant raking them onto tarps and dragging them to the very back of the yard for burning. The next year we could no longer burn, but I DID buy a lawn tractor and an 18-bushel lawn sweeper. This made life much easier, but I still found myself sweeping the entire property at least once per week during October and November. Every time I wound up with a pile of leaves 10' deep along the entire street-side portion of the front yard.

And you HAVE to clean up the nuts and leaves from the yard every fall, or the grass wont grow the next. . .oh yeah; that's where we started! So, what's one to do - continue on as a a caretaker to my own personal forest, or "thin the herd" as it were and lay in a long lasting supply of fireplace fodder? Stay tuned for a possible sequel to this post: The Aboite Chainsaw Massacre!