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Sunday, October 21, 2007

Old Enough Now to Ask How Dad Died at War

From: The New York Times


CamerynLee Orlowski was only 3 when her father, a Marine Corps reservist, was killed in Iraq.

In a grim marker of the longevity of the war, children who were infants or toddlers when they lost a parent in action are growing up. In the process, they are coming to grips with death in new, more mature and at times more painful ways — pondering a parent they barely knew, asking pointed questions about the circumstances of the death and experiencing a kind of delayed grief.

Families and bereavement counselors say that media coverage of the war, dedication ceremonies and even school events — in which most classmates have both parents in attendance — can all heighten yearning for the missing parent. For young children, the flood of prickly feelings and questions often arises just as the surviving parent is moving beyond his or her own intense grief, sometimes with a new spouse or partner in the picture.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Stan Matuska said...

Wow, I never looked at that side of the war before. I guess it has been long enough since the war began for children to start asking about their missing parent.

The scar will remain on them and the deceased soldier's loved ones until all have perished. If it's not happening to you, then it's out of sight and out of mind. There is a growing number of people who are seeing the "sight", and it is on their "mind" every stinkin' day.

Welcome to this world children, and to the Bush Legacy.

title="comment permalink">October 21, 2007 10:47 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

This war, as is always the case will haunt many for a very long time. As someone who lost a parent tragically early in life, the grief is something that is always a part of you. Thanks for the post John...

title="comment permalink">October 21, 2007 11:29 PM  
Blogger azgoddess said...

what a great post - thanks so much!!!

title="comment permalink">October 22, 2007 5:17 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

Stan - This administration has kept the returning coffins off the news for one reason. . .the curtains keep people from thinking about the human toll of this "war".

Angie - I lost my parents when I was 35 and 37. Not young by many standards, but still TOO young.

AZ - Always glad to share. Great to see you again! =)

title="comment permalink">October 22, 2007 7:07 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

John,
I lost my mom when I was 32. Being an adult orphan, well, for lack of a better word sucks... especially for your kids who miss having loving grandparents. Convinced at this point that any age is too young and that our parents are also too young...
peace.

title="comment permalink">October 26, 2007 1:38 AM  

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