Songs rewritten for Boomers

• Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
• The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
• Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
• Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
• Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
• Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now
• Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
• Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
• Marvin Gaye - I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts
• Procol Harem - A Whiter Shade of Hair
• Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
• The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
• Abba - Denture Queen
• Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall
• Helen Reddy - I am Woman, Hear me Snore
• Willie Nelson - On the Throne Again
• Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To
• The Angels - My Boyfriend's Dead
• The Outsiders - Time Won't Let Me Do Anything
• The Box Tops - Bend Me, Shake Me Out Of My Coma
• Pete Seeger - This Land Is Your Land, Thanks to My Will
• Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Cleaner
• Betty Everett - The Droop Droop Song
• The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Feeling In Your Left Leg
• Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling Down The Stairs and Breaking My Hip
• Nancy Sinatra - These Slippers Are Made For Keeping My Feet Warm When The House Gets a Little Chilly
• Van Morrison: My Gallstone Girl
• Eric Clapton: It grows hair, it grows hair, it grows hair.....Rogaine
• The Stones: Time Is Not on My Side
• The Stones: Get Off of My Lawn
• James Brown: Papa's Got a Brand New Colostomy Bag
• Tony Bennet: I left my heart in... Uh... Where was I?
• Moody Blues: Lovely to See You Again...with these new bifocals
• Simon & Garfunkel: Hello Darkness My Old Friend (now how will I find my Depends?)
• Going to the Chapel (And We're Gonna Get Buried)
• The Box Tops: The Letter--not one of those newfangled emails!
• "Predecease Me" by Kitty Wills
• Predecease me (you die first)
  'cause you're the one who'd feel the worst
  to think of me without a friend
  Predecease me...and let me love again
• Amazing Grave (How Sweet the Mound)
• Paul Simon: Call me Al (Zheimer)
• The Beach Boys: Be True To Your Stool; Good Vibrators; Help Me, OnStar
• The Beatles: Dear Prunejuice; Drive My Golfcart; Got To Get It Into My Wife; I Am The Wal-Mart; I Should Have Known Betty
• The Rolling Stones: 90th Nervous Breakdown; {I Can't Get No) Sam's Club Action; Let's Spend The 401K Together
• Janis Joplin: Me and Wobbly Knee
• Creedence Clearwater Recovery: Who'll stop the pain
• Pete Seeger: Where Have All The Hours Gone?
• Bob Dylan: Blowin’ (I’ve Got Wind)
• Beatles: "Will you still need me..." When I'm Seventy-four
• Van Halen: "Hot Flashes for Teacher"
• Little richard: Fruity Tootie