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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Songs rewritten for Boomers

  • Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
  • The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
  • Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
  • Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
  • Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
  • Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now
  • Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
  • Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
  • Marvin Gaye - I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts
  • Procol Harem - A Whiter Shade of Hair
  • Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
  • The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
  • Abba - Denture Queen
  • Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall
  • Helen Reddy - I am Woman, Hear me Snore
  • Willie Nelson - On the Throne Again
  • Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To
  • The Angels - My Boyfriend's Dead
  • The Outsiders - Time Won't Let Me Do Anything
  • The Box Tops - Bend Me, Shake Me Out Of My Coma
  • Pete Seeger - This Land Is Your Land, Thanks to My Will
  • Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Cleaner
  • Betty Everett - The Droop Droop Song
  • The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Feeling In Your Left Leg
  • Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling Down The Stairs and Breaking My Hip
  • Nancy Sinatra - These Slippers Are Made For Keeping My Feet Warm When The House Gets a Little Chilly
  • Van Morrison: My Gallstone Girl
  • Eric Clapton: It grows hair, it grows hair, it grows hair.....Rogaine
  • The Stones: Time Is Not on My Side
  • The Stones: Get Off of My Lawn
  • James Brown: Papa's Got a Brand New Colostomy Bag
  • Tony Bennet: I left my heart in... Uh... Where was I?
  • Moody Blues: Lovely to See You Again...with these new bifocals
  • Simon & Garfunkel: Hello Darkness My Old Friend (now how will I find my Depends?)
  • Going to the Chapel (And We're Gonna Get Buried)
  • The Box Tops: The Letter--not one of those newfangled emails!
  • "Predecease Me" by Kitty Wills
    • Predecease me (you die first)
      'cause you're the one who'd feel the worst
      to think of me without a friend
      Predecease me...and let me love again
  • Amazing Grave (How Sweet the Mound)
  • Paul Simon: Call me Al (Zheimer)
  • The Beach Boys: Be True To Your Stool; Good Vibrators; Help Me, OnStar
  • The Beatles: Dear Prunejuice; Drive My Golfcart; Got To Get It Into My Wife; I Am The Wal-Mart; I Should Have Known Betty
  • The Rolling Stones: 90th Nervous Breakdown; {I Can't Get No) Sam's Club Action; Let's Spend The 401K Together
  • Janis Joplin: Me and Wobbly Knee
  • Creedence Clearwater Recovery: Who'll stop the pain
  • Pete Seeger: Where Have All The Hours Gone?
  • Bob Dylan: Blowin’ (I’ve Got Wind)
  • Beatles: "Will you still need me..." When I'm Seventy-four
  • Van Halen: "Hot Flashes for Teacher"
  • Little richard: Fruity Tootie

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2 Comments:

Blogger Old Broad (going back to Hill soon) said...

HIFRIGGINGLARIOUS!!!

Wait a minute. I'm a Boomer.

John, these aren't ONE BIT funny.

title="comment permalink">March 04, 2007 1:17 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

As I sit here with a swollen and unbearably painful right hip. . .*I* feel yer pain!!! Argh. . .

Turns out our insurance doesn't cover chiro. . .they'll regret that once I start seeing an orthopedist!

title="comment permalink">March 04, 2007 9:08 PM  

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