That Toddlin Town

A funny thing happened on the way to Wisconsin. . .Oh wait, have you heard this one before? Most likely not, so allow me to continue. Anyone who's done any regular travel from Indiana to Wisconsin knows full well the feeling of dread the mention of Chicago conjures up. The approximately 50 mile stretch from Gary to Elgin looks oh-so-easy in the road atlas: Hell, it's all interstate highway, and you have three route choices!

Unfortunately though, usually just about the time you're feeling stoked due to the fact that traffic is moving along at 70 mph in a 45 mph zone, you round a curve or top a hill and. . .

. . .SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES as you drop from 70 to 0 just in time to avoid running into what appears to be the world's largest used car lot which has just emerged in your path! If you're lucky, you'll get a trickle of movement and get through in 60-90 minutes. 90 minutes is the worst I've ever personally endured, but that may actually have been worse. . .*I* took an exit and went "cross-town". It gave me an entirely new perspective on the movie "The Blues Brothers". That's a tale for another day, and I strongly discourage you from attempting this from the south side!

A couple of times I have taken the "avoidance route": that's where you puss out and take I-80 to I-39, adding 100 miles to your trip and while not saving any time, avoid a trip to the dentist to replace the crowns you've ground off while stuck in the gridlock. Being somewhat adventurous, I even returned home via the UP of Michigan, once. That too, is a tale for another day! There's also a ferry that operates across Lake Michigan. But that's not even really an option due to price and time involved.

All in all, we usually average about a 5 1/2 hour drive, door to door. Your results may vary. But here's the alternative punchline to the "joke" I started this post with: We left Fort Wayne on Saturday morning at 8:20 AM, and arrived in our Wisconsin destination at 12:10 PM. This in spite of some meds that Princess Running Water, err. . I mean, my wife, is currently on. UNDER FOUR HOURS. . .a record for us!

I only made one adjustment to our course, the real time-saver was the complete lack of congestion and construction in Chicagoland! Everybody has their favorite route; I prefer the "Skyway Option". I normally take US 30 to I-65 N at Merrillville to the Skyway and straight through downtown. This time I jumped SR 49 N at Valpo to the Toll Road (Yes, the attendant DID have an Australian accent. .I'm kidding?)rather than continuing forward to Merrillville.

NO construction and LIGHT traffic. I stayed in the middle of the pack and averaged 75 mph all the way through Chi-Town, with only one incident. I tend to migrate to the left and center (and express when available) lanes as they are mainly full of through traffic and often move a bit faster. I was in the left lane on the Kennedy, north of downtown and a ways before O'Hare, when I realized that all lanes ahead and to my right were clear except for the left one that I was traveling in! I had a split second to check my right mirror and swerve hard-right to miss four vehicles at a dead-stop in my lane. From the quick look that I had while reacting to the situation, a small white car was stopped in that lane with it's hood whipped back into it's windshield and three cars were stopped just behind it. I didn't see any signs of collision, although time allowed me but a brief once-over as I whipped around them by what looked like mere inches.

I had just come through a tunnel and around a curve when I happened upon this. I don't know if the lead vehicle had just suffered from a hood blow-back and hadn't had time to move to the shoulder, or if some other undetermined incident had occurred. I'm just glad that nobody was in the lane to my right. Faced with a choice of rear-ending four immobile vehicles at highway speed or "bumping" another moving vehicle, I obviously would have swerved right either way. . .

Anyways, my wife got her color back eventually, my nephew had slept long enough already, and my daughters wanted me to "Do it again, Dad!". . .the rest of the trip was quick and uneventful. I was dreading the journey home, figuring that karma was going to repay me but, although the traffic was heavier, we made it back home in just over four hours. . . Still time to blog about it! ;)That's my story and I'm sticking to it; but I gotta slip into "Dad mode" before I go and add a few thoughts:

- We put new tires and brakes on this van last fall. That could have made the difference on our close call yesterday. Maintain your vehicle and inspect it regularly. It's only a pain in the ass until it becomes a habit.

- Make sure that you don't have a bunch of unsecured objects in your car. Keep in mind that if you come to a sudden stop at 70 mph, anything not tied down or strapped in will still be going 70 mph. If that object is a person, they will likely be killed upon impact with whatever is is their path. If that object is non-animated, it may hit you at 70 mph! Carefully consider how you load your vehicle, and don't forget that your pets may also become projectiles during sudden stops.

- Buckle up! I really am a hypocrite on this one, but do it anyway. Worst case, you may suffer some bad abdominal injuries from the belt or be decapitated if in a convertible. . .I'm KIDDING! (About the injuries, not my hypocrisy; buckle up.)

Okay. . .enough travel advice from yours truly! I DO want to take a moment and thank the band, though. . .Stan and Paddy, aka "Team Ska", I truly appreciate you keeping this bandwith filled in my absence! Thanks, Team!