Mom
Today is the 5th anniversary of the loss of my Mom. I miss her dearly. How do you replace the unconditional love of your mother? Nobody else will ever love you the same way that she did. . .even the most perfect spouse can't fill the bill. Most people remember 9/11; for ME it was an event that occurred three weeks after I lost her and the security of her love for me. People in their 30's shouldn't lose their parents!
My parents were 40 (Mom) and 42 (Dad) when I entered their world. I'm 42 today, with three children, Derek (22), Samantha (6), and Sabrina (4). Derek and I never got much of a chance to know each other, but were fortunate enough to stay in touch over the years. My young daughters talk to everyone about their older brother. Hopefully I can still reach out to him, and involve him in our lives. . .
Time really DOES seem to fly as we age, and it's often difficult to remember all of the players in our busy little lives. . .I guess that's all a part of growing up. The things that seemed to take forever when we were kids now seem to speed by. And OUR kids have THEIR turn to wonder why we are so focused on our past.
We just hope that it all works out for the best for THEM. . .and that we'll still be around when they enter their 40's. . .
posted by John Good @ 12:02 AM
10 Comments:
It almost seemed more people than usual, that I knew at that time, had a parent that died some short time before 9/11... almost like it was supposed to be that way. My mom was getting close to 40 as well when I was born and my dad died 2 months before 9/11 so I also remember 9/11 with an additional note, so I'm in the same boat as you on those... I underrated missing my dad but I know I would have missed my mom more so... although its really uncomparable of course...
Speaking of 9/11 I had my grandfathers funeral on that day so I also lost a loved one then. I am lucky enough to still have my mother and cherish every minute that I can spend with her.
John:
Some remarkable similarities in your posting and in my life.
Having lost my mother to cancer when I was 14, I 'feel your pain' in a certain way, as far as losing a parent. Losing parents is difficult, it makes us feel 'old'. We envision our parents as young and youthful, our rocks and the people that solve our problems for us, when they are taken from this earth early, it doesn't seem fair, and we seem lost.
I have 3 sons, 17, 13 and 9. My oldest and I just never seemed to have 'clicked' in the way that I have with the younger two. Maybe it was my youthful age when he was born and grew up, we just don't have as many mutual interests, it isn't that we don't love each other or that we hate each other, we just aren't as close as I had always thought we would be, especially compared to my relationship with the other two boys.
Maybe that will change as he grows older and matures...my father says that with any group of your own children, you are bound to be closer with some than others...human nature I guess.
Hang in there, John, time heals all wounds. And pray...that always helps.
Yep.
I feel you pal.
I still miss dad.
I don't think you can ever fill the void left by a lost parent, but time manages to cushion the blow eventually.
I understand, John. The two year anniversay of my father's death is approaching.
I understand, John. The two year anniversay of my father's death is approaching.
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My partner's mother passed away 3 years ago this month. There's a lot to say and there's nothing to say, all at the same time. (And just to complete the 9/11 theme, her wedding anniversary was 9/11 and they were just short of 55 years.)
I'm sorry about your mom, John. Life is definitely a one-day-at-a-time thing, and all we can do is live it to our best.
Thank you ALL for your comments. . .I got myself into a real funk last night over this. I'm somewhat better now.
John,
While I am a little late with this post, I just want to say that I knew you when you were in your youth, and I never would have guessed you would have turned out to be such a caring, loving Husband and Father. You are doing a great job; especially for not having your parents around. Not that you were "bad" in your youth, just care-free and often times confused or sad.
I personally am impresess with how you turned out! Don't you think that must be a reflection of how your parents raised you?
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