Late-Nite Roundup
"A lot of trouble in the Middle East right now between Lebanon and Israel. ... Last night Israel bombed the runways at Beirut's airport, putting a stop on all flights in and out. So I'm sorry everybody, you're just gonna have to cancel that relaxing weekend getaway to Beirut." --Conan O'Brien
"It's been a very busy and somewhat disturbing day throughout the world. President Bush was overseas in Germany as events unfolded. Here is his press conference with Chancellor Angela Merkel in Germany where he wasted no time addressing the many troubling developments [on screen: Bush saying, 'I'm looking forward to the feast you're going to have tonight. I understand I may have the honor of slicing the pig']. He may have the honor of slicing the pig? I'm just going to assume that is some euphemism for solving the Middle East crisis" --Jon Stewart
"President Bush had a phone conversation with the astronauts aboard the space shuttle. The odd thing is President Bush was the only one wearing a space helmet." --Conan O'Brien
"Evidently, low approval ratings can be contracted through saliva." --Stephen Colbert, on the effect of President Bush kissing Joe Lieberman
"At a joint press conference with President Bush, German Chancellor Angela Merkel called for a 'de-escalation of Mid-East violence.' Later, Bush called for both sides to 'de-angrify' and 'de-hurt' each other." -Conan O'Brien
"Homeland Security expects to have a new warning system in place by the end of the year that will warn you of a national emergency on your cell phone. They will call you on your cell phone if we are under attack or there's a tornado or there's a hurricane. Of course the important question for most Americans -- 'Does that use up our minutes?'" -Jay Leno
posted by John Good @ 9:17 PM
5 Comments:
Gee, couldn't think of anything crass to say on your own?
No, asshat from J4TR, SCO&E, (insert annonymous troll blogger name here). Why should I? I'll leave the professional work to the professionals. Regarding that, shouldn't you be home right now washing your white hoods, masturbating to pictures of Ann Coldturd, and having anal-sex with each other in a Roman gladiator sort of way?
You tell em John.
Let me see if I can properly rehash the NeoCon strategy
1. Invade Iraq - install democracy. We will be greeted as liberators w/ flowers and candy. The war will only cost a few billion dollars. Iran is a sectarian country and the people will come together w/o major problems.
2. The Iraqi democracy will inspire the Iranian reformers and they will put pressure on the mullahs. This will weaken the mullahs position with the entire public and will lead to their inevitable downfall.
3. Without Iranian support Hezbollah and Syria will eventually lose all their power and wilt away. Democracy will move into Syria and Hezbollah will die out.
4. With Hezbollah gone, Lebanon will flourish and it will put pressure on Hamas and the Palestinians to finally broker a peace deal w/ Israel.
That just about sums it up. And just about everything has turned out the COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
The democrats should just sit back and quote Newt Gingrich:
"Had Enough?"
BTW: My thanks to Andrew Da Kook for the bait, and Danny Boy for the link (And the fawning). Who'd have thunk that you fantasize about me in Roman clothes! I am SO flattered!
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