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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their Caffeine Addiction, Switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You’re not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling "Run for Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy this To Someone To Make Them Smile. It’s Called Therapy.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's one that I really did.
Call Toys-R-Us and ask for the toy department!

title="comment permalink">April 19, 2006 8:15 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

Only you, Stan. ONLY you. lol

title="comment permalink">April 19, 2006 8:25 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

Actually, I like to wait for someone to get on the elevator with me and the door closes. Then I smile happily and state "I'm wearing new underwear"!

title="comment permalink">April 19, 2006 8:34 PM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

Beautiful! If I had a "job" like in an "Office" I would have to do all of those things. I'd just have to. I do often skip instead of walk. Very ground covering. Thanks for the smile!

title="comment permalink">April 20, 2006 11:28 PM  

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