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Sunday, October 15, 2006

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Bradenton who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Tampa and one of my sisters, who lives in Sarasota, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Miami.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Stark for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Manatee County Jail on charges of neglecting his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Jacksonville and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel.

My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my uncle who voted for Bush?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

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10 Comments:

Blogger LP Mike Sylvester said...

Holy crap...

That is funny...

Mike Sylvester

title="comment permalink">October 15, 2006 4:39 PM  
Blogger Donnie McDaniel said...

ROFLMAO!! I am so glad I was not taking a sip of coffee at the time!!

title="comment permalink">October 15, 2006 8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Priceless!

At least we still have a sense of humor despite this ongoing nightmare.

title="comment permalink">October 15, 2006 11:17 PM  
Blogger Tim Zank said...

Dear Worried, you poor dear, just explain to her how sorry you are about your uncle and assure her that you and the rest of your family are obviously devoted democrats who through their actions truly represent the values held dear by the democratic party. Judging by her background, she may prove to be a viable candidate for your party too!

Don't forget to vote!

title="comment permalink">October 16, 2006 10:47 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

I visited a site that had posted that and thought it was real. I don't know which was funnier, the joke or the poster.

title="comment permalink">October 16, 2006 2:44 PM  
Blogger Marked Hoosier said...

Tim,

Oh so close. It never says they are democrats... I would say their actions make them republicans in the mold of Foley et. al....

It is just that they wouldn't vote Bush.

They are Republican, just not Evil Republican...

hahahahahahaahahahahahaahaha

title="comment permalink">October 16, 2006 4:58 PM  
Blogger azgoddess said...

dear worried,

i understand your dilemma in this delicate situation. if i were you, i would make an aggreement to not bring up the unspeakable with your family. at least until they have gotten to know your beloved.

title="comment permalink">October 16, 2006 5:45 PM  
Blogger John Good said...

C'mon Tim, it's high time you made up with your nephew and his clan!

title="comment permalink">October 16, 2006 6:38 PM  
Blogger Chuck said...

LMAO!!!

title="comment permalink">October 17, 2006 10:45 PM  
Blogger Human said...

Lol. Great come back John!
Peace.

title="comment permalink">October 18, 2006 11:45 PM  

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